Uh Huh, I See, Okay, Now What?

MySpace

2006-01-22T13:54:00.000-05:00

I have recently created three accounts at MySpace. Mine originaly was only going to be used to stay in touch with someold school mates and personal friends who are over there but now I have become addicted. MySpace offers alot more than Blogger unfortunately. Not only can you blog, but there is music for your site, comments boxes, messaging, etc... I hope anyone here who is also on MySpace will add me as a friend.

In addition, as most of you know Joe's a musician and is in Acoustic MoJo. I created them an account also because I was able to upload sound clips of them live. Joe also just formed the Joe Arrington Project so just like Acoustic MoJo, I created them an account also for the same reasons.

Again, please feel free to add me if you are already there, and if your not its free to register and way cool. Hope to see you all there!

It's 3 a.m.

2006-01-16T03:48:00.000-05:00

This is also posted here.

So at approximately this time, 1 year ago today Joe and I came home from a show Joe had, and Joe found my grandfather dead in the basement..... (they estimated his time of death to be before midnight so that would mean it was the 15th although Joe found him at 3 a.m. the morning of the 16th because it was after midnight)

It all started the night before (or actually the same day of his death - the 15th). Joe and I had just gotten into bed and we heard this horrible, loud thump. We ran to my grandparents bedroom and my grandfather was there on the floor. he wouldnt move, he was unconcious. I remember my heart beating so fast and my just saying "oh my God Joe, Joe Joe...". I thought he was dead. Joe knelt down and got him to come to while I stood in the corner, facing the corner, I was so afraid of what I thought was happening.
Joe sat him up against his bed. He was bleeding from just above his eye. I got a washcloth and peroxide and bandages and tried to patch him up all the while crying and begging him to please let me call an ambulance and trying to keep my grandmother from coming around to that side of the bed and seeing the blood. Grandpa needed stitches but he refused...

I didnt sleep that night. I couldnt, I had been so fightened. I kept checking on him all night. I needed to hear him breathing. At the same time I was furious at him. What everyone knew except my grandmother (we hid it from her), was that grandpa would sit in the basement and drink Gin and Tonic/Orange Juice. You see my grandfather suffered from prostate cancer which he had never had surgery for. Through the years this caused swelling and he had a hard time walking, you add in his drinking and well.... My grandfather fell because he was drunk.

The next day (the 15th) grandpa had a hell of a black eye. I talked with him for a very long time in the basement and told him how he had scared me, how I thought he was indeed dead, to please stop drinking. He held my hand and said he was sorry and that he would stop. He told me he knew I went through alot living there, dealing with my grandmother, he thanked me and said he was proud of me. He loved me. He told me I was his first "real" grandchild (he had step grandchildren from my grandmothers first marriage) and that he had always loved me so much. We talked about when I was a child and the things we did together.

(now back to how I started this entry)...

It is now the evening of the 15th and I am getting ready to leave with Joe to go to his show. I went down to the basement to see if grandpa needed anything. He said no. I told him I'd see him tomorrow and started up the steps. He called out to me "Hey brat".... I looked around the wall and said "yeah"... He said "where's my kiss", I gave him one. He held my hand and reinterated what he said earlier, adding he was very proud of his children, my mother and my uncle. He again told me he loved me and I said I loved him too. He told me my grandmother loved me and not to blame her for the things she would say or do )most of mine and grandpas talks were when I needed to vent or take a break from grandma). I left.

At 11 p.m., I called to check on my grandparents. Grandma answered and said everything was fine, she was in bed, grandpa was in his place, the basement. This didnt seem odd because he would sometimes fall asleep down there.

Then...

At 2:40 a.m., we came home.

My grandfather's death changed my life. No one saw how close we had gotten in the 2 years Joe and I lived with my grandparents because they werent around enough. I was there day in and day out and I am so sorry if I failed them in some way. I dont care what anyone else thinks. I know the truth of what was going on in that house (especially with my grandmothers failing mind) and I know I was loved and I know they loved me.

Towards the end, I was bitter. My grandmother was losing her mind and saying the most absurd, horrible things. I felt used, because the whole family had me watching them, me caring for them, I would get yelled at by a certain "Aunt" if I needed to leave or have my time. I needed to hear everything he said to me. I needed to know he knew the truth too, and he did.

I was the last person to speak to him.

I love you. I miss you.... thank you for helping me through my insecurities...

Grandpa, Tell Me 'Bout The Good Old Days

The Judds

Grandpa, tell me ’bout the good old days

Sometimes it feels like this worlds gone crazy

Grandpa, take me back to yesterday

When the line between right and wrong

Didn’t seem so hazy

(chorus)

Did lovers really fall in love to stay

And stand beside each other, come what may

Was a promise really something people kept

Not just something they would say

Did families really bow their heads to pray

Did daddies really never go away

Oh, grandpa, tell me ’bout the good old days

Grandpa, everything is changing fast

We call it progress, but I just don’t know

And grandpa, let’s wander back into the past

And paint me the picture of long ago

(repeat chorus)

Did lovers really fall in love to stay

And stand beside each other come what may

Was a promise really something people kept

Not just something they would say and then forget

Did families really bow their heads to pray

Did daddies really never go away

Oh, grandpa, tell me ’bout the good old days

Oh, grandpa, tell me ’bout the good old days

This Is The Story Of A Girl...

2005-12-30T01:01:00.000-05:00

...who changed my life at different times both for the better and the worst. Her name is Tracy.

I dont think anyone is really sure just how old we were when we first met. I can pin point it to my being around the age of 5 years old. Tracy and I used to play outside, play inside, play wherever. We used to play school and I was always the teacher. We used to sneak off to the small playground off to the side at Inverness School, back by the water. Little did I know that many years later that would become my secret thinking spot or a place I would take my own children to.

For years Tracy was a part of my life. We grew up together. She was 2.5 years older than me and very much (at that time) into boys. She kissed a boy before me, she had sex before me. We used to giggle and laugh at night because when she spent the night we could here my parents in the other room...you know (ugh), lol :-) We found my fathers stash of porn tapes and Playboys. We were going to move into a huge warehouse when we grew up (like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance). My parents called her their adopted daughter and she was without a doubt my sister! Her family didnt celebrate the holidays for religious reasons but racy had Christmas at our house. My parents bought her small presents. I remember even my late grandmother did a few times. Tracy's birthday was Christmas Eve so they were "birthday presents".

Tracy's parents were always very odd. Abusive odd. Tracy would get punished for the most off the wall reasons. I remember once Tracy spending the weekend at my house and getting stung by a bee while we were playing softball. She was alergic to bee stings. She got punished.... Tracy's parents never let her have long hair or dress girly or wear make up. When she came to my house we would experiment with her hair and make up and she's wear my clothes.

When I was 12 I thought my world was coming to an end. Things had happened and Tracy was being put in a foster care. My bestfriend in the whole world was leaving me. We had been together for atleast 7 years. My mother and father offered to take her but the judge wouldnt allow it. I still remember that day in court like it was yesterday. We cried. The night before I had heard the song "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins and the words hit me hard. I wrote a ltter to tracy and included the words.

"How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You’re the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we’ve shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears
You’re the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, oh there’s just an empty space
And there’s nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now, well there’s just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds and that’s what I’ve got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry
There’s so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You’re the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, well there’s just an empty space
And there’s nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face
Now take a look at me now, cos there’s just an empty space

But to wait for you, is all I can do and that’s what I’ve got to face
Take a good look at me now, cos I’ll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It’s the chance I’ve gotta take

Take a look at me now...."

Tracy left for close to 4 years. We tried to stay in touch, there were a few letters and phone calls, but when your young.... I was 16 before I saw her again. So many things had happened. So much had changed. I was in my bedroom and my mother told me someone was here to see me. I turned around and there she was. It was a weird moment. One of those times when you know you know the person but arent sure... but really I was sure, but it was so hard to believe.... As the story goes her then foster mother and she were driving past my parents house and Tracy recognised it and they stopped.

As time went by Tracy became pregnant and her foster mother kicked her out. She came to live with us and ended up having a miscarriage.... alot happend... Things I'd rather not talk about, but these things changed my life, my perspectives on how I saw things. Certain things she told me regarding my family I didnt believe or didnt want to believe and I kicked her out of my parents house and my life. I was 16 then.

When I was 21 I learned that the things Tracy had tried telling me years before were true. What had I done? I located her. She was in Honolulu, Hawaii and pregnant. Tracy was now bisexual and had alot of other problems going on (which I wont say for her privacy). Adding to this she was living with a guy old enough to be her father and pregnant by him. In many ways I blamed myself for her outcome. Tracy was always a bit different because of her upbringing and then her years in foster care - but if only I had listened to her, maybe her life wouldnt be where it was at that moment.

We talked for months and finally she came home and stayed with me and my then husband. Tracy and I just clashed. I was trying to keep her straight afterall she was pregnant. I was trying to get her help and God how she fought it (or so it seemed). She eventually went to stay with my mother who by this time was seperated from my father. Things just were never the same.

On March 30th of I believe 1996 Tracy gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Sabrina, my God Daughter. Tracy tried. She really did. She loved her baby but a few weeks after her birth Tracy called me needing help. She wanted me to take Sabrina. I didnt even think twice. I didnt even talk to my husband about it. I just went and got the baby. Soon after we went to court and the courts gave me guardianship of Sabrina.

Finally one day I got a call from the socal worker involved in our case, Tracy called the Department of Social Services and placed her baby up for adoption. I had always told Tracy her baby would know her even if she wasnt around. I loved that baby like she was mine because Tracy was my sister. It hurt....

I havent spoken to her since except for the few calls some 5-6 years ago where she blamed me for the decision. Tracy has been trying to get her life together for years now.

Today her mother called me. Tracy is evidentally clean, living nearby, in NA and AA and wants to talk. Fine. My sentimental side is letting this happen. Most likely my heart will be torn apart but we'll see. Hopefully not.

The Road Between

2005-12-29T16:35:00.000-05:00

Another "how I'm feeling today" song.

The Road Between
by: Lisa Marie Presley

Out on the road between nowhere and hell
I caught a glimpse of my reflection in you
But they can't believe I still want you around
Hung on the line between addiction and this
I can't believe you said I hurt you again
But I can't afford to let you get away
And I cannot take the darkness when you stay

You're all I see. And it's definitely my fault
You're all I see. But don't come near me at all

How many roads between your world and mine
How many broken doors and how many fights
I changed my furniture to make you go away
I'm still overwhelmed at how much space you take

You're all I see. And it's definitely my fault
You're all I see. But don't come near me at all

And I can't have you right now
And I can't get it right now
And I can't have you right now
And I can't get it right now

You're all I see. And it's definitely my fault
You're all I see. But don't come near me at all

This is, this is definitely my fault

Hung on the line between addiction and this
I can't believe that I have hurt you again

Gothic Dreams

2005-12-29T11:53:00.000-05:00

Gothic Dreams,
originally uploaded by ghostbones.

This was created by one of my new Flickr friends ghostbones. Yes that is me!!! He wont devulge his secrets of just how he manipulates images to make to make these wonderful pieces of art but he is definately one creative individual. Thank you ghostbones for taking the time to make me my own special portrait. It's beautifully dark!

Happy Holidays!!

2005-12-25T05:02:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays everyone!! I hope you have a very safe and joyous Christmas Day.

Selfish?

2005-12-16T08:40:00.000-05:00

This may sound a bit selfish, but are there ever times when you feel like YOU are the only person in the entire world who cares about YOU?

TrendTimes.com

2005-12-15T09:15:00.000-05:00

First let me say, BUYER BEWARE!!

Here is the story:

My son Michael is very much into remote control cars this year. He has been wanting this ENZO Ferrari for some time but it's $100 anywhere you can find it, if you can find it. On Ebay it tends to be even more after shipping. He found Trend Times while surfing the 'net.

I decide I am going to buy him the car for Christmas. The website even had it for $54.95 plus shipping. It was cheaper than anyplace else. The site was very professional looking and they use a SSN sever to transmit your information. I paid for the car on December 1st. I recieved a confirmation email immediately telling me my package would arrive in 5-10 days. All seemed great!! I was happy. I would me MOM OF THE YEAR when he got this Christmas day! Until...

As of yesterday, the 14th, nothing... I call the 800 number on the website. Come to find out, that number is a 3rd party ordering line. Not only can they not supply me with any tracking information or tell me if indeed my package was shipped, they can't even give me a alternate phone number to try and reach someone. I try information, NOTHING! I research.... oh did I research... after all I am getting the feeling my son's Christmas is about to be ruined. What do I find? THIS. And there are many more!

At this point I am physically sick. Michael had told me more than one time that this is the ONLY thing he wanted for Christmas. I already have packages wrapped and under the Christmas tree for him and his brother, but this, THIS ONE THING, was his true Christmas wish. I had been so happy, he was going to be so happy!!

I call the 800 number back. I tell this "operator" what I have just found online. I ask her if she has children? Yes she does.... I got to her! And I got another number!! I call the number and tell the person who answers that I need to check on the status of my order. I give her my information and she tells me its been shipped, on the 8th. I ask her for a tracking number. She puts me on hold. Then this "supervisor" get on the line. I tell him my concern and again ask for the tracking number. He gets furious. For no reason. "Well guess what buddy, I dont care". I want the information. I tell him what I found online and that I am a consumer and I have a right to ask about my merchandise. He tells me he needs to "order" the tracking number from the warehouse. Um, ok.... He takes my phone number and tells me he will call me in 30 minutes with the number.

Let's just say 2 hours and 4 calls to Trend Times later, I finally get a tracking number. I go to UPS' website. I type in the tracking number. It tells me that the "billing information has been recieved". I dont understand this, so I call UPS. They explained to me that this means someone at Trend Times has printed a shipping label (on the 8th - the supposed shipping date) but as of then the package itself had not been scheduled for pick up. So essentially NO FREEKING PACKAGE WAS ON IT'S WAY (and Christmas is in 11 days)!!!

I am (needless to say) boiling over PISSED! I called an old employer of mine. An attorney, Mr. Walker. I wanted advice. I wanted to know what I could do, if anything. I had already contacted Pay Pal, because I used my Pay Pal debit card to purchase the car. If I disputed the charge for non reciept, it would take 30 days to get my money back. What I needed right then was either #1 the car, or #2 a refund immediately so I could hunt down another car! Mr. Walker took all the information I had obtained and told me to call him in an hour. I thanked him for "whatever" he could find out or do for me.

In the meantime, I call Hobbytown USA, they dont have it... I call Toys R Us. I appealed to the manager there because they DO carry the car and at this point I would gladly pay the $100. I just wanted to give Michael his car for Christmas, and now more than ever it was my MISSION!
My local store didn't have any in stock. He looked at other stores inventory using their computer system. Not one store from Kentucky to Virginia had the car in stock. UNFREEKING BELIEVABLE. I feel sunk, completely, shot down, stepped on, and pushed deep into the mud!

An hour passes. I call Mr. Walker. Praise this man.... He called them. Told them if I didn't have either a refund or the car by today (the 15th) he would be filing criminal charges against them. It was now 4:30 in the afternoon and I started this mission at 10am. Thank you, thank you Mr. Walker. At 5:30 my telephone rang. It was the original woman I had spoken to at Trend Times. She gave me a new tracking number, which I have been following. Michael's car should arrive in the next 30 minuties hopefully.

Oh Lord Won't You Buy Me...

2005-12-13T10:52:00.000-05:00

One of my classic favorites:

Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin

Oh lord, won’t you buy me a mercedes benz ?
My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So lord, won’t you buy me a mercedes benz ?

Oh lord, won’t you buy me a color tv ?
Dialing for dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh lord, won’t you buy me a color tv ?

Oh lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?
I’m counting on you, lord, please don’t let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?

Everybody!
Oh lord, won’t you buy me a mercedes benz ?
My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh lord, won’t you buy me a mercedes benz ?

That’s it!

For Us Flickr People

2005-12-12T19:10:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine pointed me in the direction of this website. It's very cool. You can type in your Flickr user name or any friend you might have that's on Flickr and it shows you that persons most interesting photo's. I'm not sure how it tally's them, but... it's worth looking at.

In other news, I have a local artist gallery here in Maryland interested in showing some of my photo's in their gallery. I have to go through my photo's and see which I think are the best. I am also taking suggestions. So if any of you would like to look through my photo's and tell me what one's you think are worthy, I would definately appreciate it!

Yesterday

2005-12-11T10:33:00.000-05:00

Well, my father came and picked me and Michael up yesterday to go to the flea market. It started with a call at 6:45 in the morning. I then had to wake myself up and try to raise Michael from his sleep. This has never been an easy task, but finally he crawled from his slumber. I think it was kind of awkward when we first got in my father's truck. No one really knew what to say. My father broke it by asking us "how's life". We walked around the flea market but it sucked. The one over here opens at 8am and at that time still no one was really set up. It's more vendors then actually people parting with their things. Kind of boring unless your going there looking for a particular thing. The only person to get anything was Michael, who wanted a foot long hotdog, chips, and a soda. Then he got a butterfly knife. He got, I paid.... It was painful for me to see my father could walk, but needed a cane. He wasnt like that 2 years ago. I joked asking him if he was trying to keep up with Santa Claus (tis the season) because his hair is now snow white and he was growing a beard.

After the flea market we went to McDonald's for breakfast. During breakfast he go a call from someone, I dont know who, but he told them he was out with his daughter. I guess they thought my sister because he then said, "no actually Stacy". We then went home. Michael hugged my father and I think I saw a slight smile from my father. Then I hugged him. he told us he loved us and we said it back.

I wanted to call him today and thank him for taking us out. Maybe he would ask me to go again next weekend? I just can't push. I'm afraid I guess. It's not a good feeling being afraid of your own feelings. I thought maybe I could use the excuse that I wanted him to look at my photo's and tell me which he thought was best (I gave him a cd of them), because I am submitting one to a local gallery and need opinions but I decided against it (for now - this could change later today). All I do know is its a beginning I think, he has my number and now knows where I live. What's next?

My only real assumption and I could be wrong, is that there will never be any holiday get togethers that include everyone. Joe and my father dont want to be around one another and I dont want to be around my father's wife. It makes me sad, very sad....

Things Are Looking Up (Maybe)

2005-12-09T13:00:00.000-05:00

As most of my loyalist readers know, things in my family are not very family like. Things between my father and I haven't been good in a very long time and things with my sister have never been sisterly. I guess the main reason for that is the huge generation gap between us. We are two entirely different people and really didn't grow up together per say. She doesn't know who I am and I don't know who she is. There is 8.5 years between us. Hell, when I got married for the first time, she only just about to turn 9. She doesn't like that I put things out in the open for the whole world to see on here. I tell her, "it's not like anyone you are ever going to meet has read it, except maybe with the exception of a few people or family who might have the address, but oh well, it's my diary, it's my self-help, my therapy". So she gets moody and doesn't speak to me for months at a time. She also doesn't like being the go between with my father and I, and that point I do understand, but she is the only connection I have locally to him. And she is my sister, my blood, and she should want the relationship to be better between us. But who knows... at the present time she gets all his attention, which she didn't get as a child because I was daddy's little girl... BUT, she had our mother, which I didn't have.

On with the story and point/news here: Wednesday morning I spoke to my mother who lives in Mississippi. She said out of the blue my father called her "to talk". Towards the end of the conversation my father asked her to tell me that he does love me. **Crying now as I type this** He has wanted me to apologize for the things I said to his current wife that dreaded Christmas Eve night 2 (or was it 3) years ago. I am not going to go into the long drawn out story yet again because if you read this or know me, you know the story. I broke down and called his house, got his answering machine and told him I was sorry and to please call me. He did some hours later. I apologized for the fact I hurt her but not for standing up for my husband (then boyfriend), myself, and our relationship but did ask when she was going to apologize. He said she did. She didn't, I don't know what she's told him. I told him this was not about me and her or my husband and him, but about us. He is my father, my blood, and everyone else including my husband can step out of our relationship because that's our business. Thats the way I feel. And feelings are not right or wrong, they just "are". He said he didn't want to be hurt but I've been hurt over and over again. My boys go there to be told he isn't there and to never come back, I've sent letters which were returned, etc.

The conversation ended in him asking if I'd like to get together with him. Maybe go to the flea market Saturday (tomorrow). He said he would call me the next day which he did, I wasn't here, but I did return his call. He said he wasn't sure if we would go to the flea market because of the snow we were expecting to recieve. The snow came last night and the roads are clear now and it's not suppose to snow again tonight, so we'll see. I felt like he was trying to get out of it. He said he would call me in the moring early Saturday. I hope he does, Michael my son would be going and he is looking forward to it. He hasn't had a grandfather or grandmother really much of his life.

So pray for me, for us, and keep your fingers crossed.

It's Snowing

2005-12-07T05:10:00.000-05:00

I want to let you all know that I have been trying to post this post for the last 3 days. I get it all typed up and Blogger shuts down. Weird, but here is my 3rd attempt. Cross your fingers because my fingers are tired now. Here goes...

It's snowing, well it was 2 days ago. It was very cool to go out into the first real snow fall for Maryland this year. We didn't get very much accumulation but it did lay. It wasn't a blizzard, damn..., that would have been fun (sort of). Anyhow, I went outside to let the snow fall on my face and I had a pondering thought/question: With all the polution and smog that is up in the air, how is it that these tiny little snowflakes come down to greet us, perfectly white? Perfectly white and beautiful until a dog decides to... or until a boy decides to try and write his name in the snow, lol ;-), or until the exhaust of cars make it a horrible sight. And why is it that when it is about to snow or is snowing, the air has a very crisp, clean smell to it? Just my mind with too much time I suppose....

I have been absolutely lazy about keeping up with this blog lately. I used to post atleast every other day. I am sorry for that because it is my diary. I swear one day I am going to print out all my entries and put them in a binder. I guess now I will go on to recap what's been happening since Thanksgiving (since that was my last post).

In bad news, which really isn't bad, well atleast not as bad as it could be, I found out I have inherited yet another health trait from my family. This time my father's side. The day before Thanksgiving (Wednesday) I sarted having chest pains and was having a hard time breathing. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest and if I walked for more than 5 minutes anywhere I was completely out of breath. I figured it was just "a thing" and would go away on it's own, I was wrong! Sunday came and I layed down, eyes shut, to relax a minute, and all of a sudden I got horribly dizzy. I was having bed spins. This completely freaked me out and we went to the Emergency Room. They ran all sorts of tests, and EKG, blood, they even tried to draw blood from the artery in my wrist, but it hurt so bad I almost passed out. In the end because of my family history they chalked it up to thinking I am having the beginning stages of Asthma. Thank's Dad! They gave me a prescription which I still have not filled (go on yell at me) and sent me on my merry way home. I am still having trouble breathing at times but no pain.

So the Christmas rush is on!! I am done my shopping. 1 more layaway to retrieve at Walmart and I am DONE! DONE! DONE! I did alot of my shopping online this year with the exception of little things I saw here and there. This was a rough year for figuring out what to get the kids especially. Brian was very hard since he is not here all the time but in the end he is getting (they don't read this so I can tell you): Soul Calibur 3 for the pS2, a PS2 memory card, a video game chair (it sits on the floor with no legs), a video game console organizer (you put all your gaming systems and games in it), Curve cologne, and an Axe gift set. Michael is getting: a poker set (he likes the card game), 70's show boxed set, a dvd player, a new stereo, an air soft bb gun, and a remote control Lamborghini (he bugged the crap out of me for this). Joe and I always give our gifts to each other on Christmas Eve, we let Christmas be for the kids, but this year there was no hiding the one gift Joe GOT already! How could I hide it? Where would I hide it? I got him his new Ibanez guitar. I've had it on layaway for a month. He was so happy when he came home from work and saw it that he promptly returned the generousity by going out and buying me a white gold and diamond necklace and earring set. The necklace is 3 hearts that dangle down smallest to biggest, the earrings match. Gotta love that man of mine! I also bought him 2 Rasputina cd's, NFL Films: The Fabulous 50's, and the book The Hab Theory (which he has wanted for some time now). He has other things planned for me and I must admit I have ants in my pants like a kid having to wait!! Joe's new guitar inspired me to do a new series of guitar photo's all of which can be seen on my Flickr site. I love getting inspired. Recently all my photo's have been more snapshots than anything. I used all his guitars in the photo's with the exception of 1, his B.C. Rich, because it would have made it uneven looking (and truthfully I don't like it, it's very 80's looking - and don't get me wrong, I am soooo the 80's girl, but still...).

In other news, Friday Joe and I had a day for US!! With the hours he is working now (getting up at 4am and coming home between 4:30 and 6:30pm) and doing gigs, he has been exhausted and so have I because I am keeping his schedule now. We are in bed most nights now by 10:30pm unless there is a gig. So we got up Friday and went to breakfast at The Rose Resturaunt. It was kind of upper scale. Very beautifully decorated inside. Hard to describe really. The food was great! He then took me to the peach orchards he has been telling me about for weeks. He has been going on and on about wanting me to take photo's of this orchard. So here we were and I must say even though the peach tree's are not in full bloom with it being winter, it was still amazing to see. The tops of the tree's are this fiery red color. The tree's are on private property so I had to be quick in getting the photo's I did get so there are only a couple (they too can be seen on Flickr). I hope to go back there when the tree's are in bloom. I bet it's even more beautiful then.

In closing, I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season!! I read a poem just yesterday that a friend of mine David VanLanding (from the 80's band Mannekin) wrote for his mother's memorial service upon her passing, it made me think, and I'd like to share it with you. Be safe. You never know what's just around the corner in your life.

LIFE

SOME SAY THE STRENGTH OF LIFE
CAN BE MEASURED BY HOPE
SOME SAY LIFE IS A STATE OF MIND
AND SOME WILL SAY LIFE
IS JUST A MOMENT IN TIME
I SAY TIME IS THE ESSCENCE
LIFE SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED
LIFE SHOULD NEVER BE JUST FOR THE PRIVILEGED
AND SOME WILL SAY LIFE AND DEATH
ARE SIMPLY THE COURSE OF NATURE
I WOULD LIKE TO THINK IT AS THE BEGINNING
MY MOM LIVED HER LIFE THROUGH US
AND WITH THAT...I HAVE NO REGRETS
IT GIVES MY LIFE PEACE
GOODBYE FOR NOW MY LIFE
I WILL SEE YOU IN THE BEGINNING

David VanLanding
11/19/04

This took me 8 tries to get this published. Everytime I added a photo, Blogger would shut down. Ugh....

Happy Holidays. Be Happy, Share Happiness, Share Love, it's contagious!!

Christmas Time is Officially Here!!

2005-11-30T03:51:00.000-05:00

Hello all... Sorry it's been so long since I posted, I have just been busy busy with the holiday season.

Happy belated Turkey Day to everyone. My Thanksgiving was great. I made the traditional dinner, the turkey of course, mashed potatoes, yams, brussel sprouts, corn, turkey stuffing and sausage stuffing, both types of cranberry sauce, whole berries and jellied, rolls, carrotts, baked apples, an apple pie and a pumpkin pie...umm, am I forgetting anything??? I started the night before at about 4am and didn't stop until about 5pm the next day. Dinner was at 6pm because we had to wait until my kids got dropped off by their father. They had eated Thanksgiving dinner with him at his parents house at around 2pm earlier in the day. Sean, my best friend came to dinner and so did Lucas from Virginia, which was apleasant unexpected suprise. He called was in Baltimore, and I told him to come by. Lucas was the last to show and everyone else was done. Prior we had all gone around the table saying what we were thankful for. I said my family, friends, health...my life basically because I love it and am happier than I have been in a long time. Everyone else said what they were thankful for and in all of their little speeches, I was one of those things. It made me feel good.

A few days earlier Joe, Michael, and I had started our holiday decorating. The Christmas tree is up, gree Christmas tree like garland is strung over my windows, the holiday houses are lit up and making a little town on top my entertainment center. the snowmen, Santa's, and elves have found homes in sporatic places, including the bathroom. I am starting to get both excited and depressed at the same time. It's not for financial reasons because actually I think this Christmas will be one of the better ones, its more emotional. My family situation with my sister and father is bothering me, but I'll survive. I always do!

I have started shopping both locally and online. Some of the kids layways are coming out this week and so is the guitar I have on layaway for Joe. Yes he will probably get it early. Amazon and Ebay love me. I should seriously think about taking stock in them both.

Joe and I are getting an early Christmas present... (drum roll please)... our long wait with the car situation is coming to an end. Thats right people by the end of next week I will be cruising the streets in my Nissan Altima!!! It's about freekin' time if I do say so myself!!

In other related/non related news, Joe's band, MDA will be back again on New Year's Eve. This has been up in the air for some time. We weren't sure if we would resurrect the band again, but gee, we decided to do it, and what better time then for a huge New Year's Eve party! And cool beans, Joe can play his new toy....

I wonder what I will be getting...hmmm, the ring, the new camera, the dance lessons.... or all????

This & That (Movies, Purses, Slippers, Family)

2005-11-14T00:49:00.000-05:00

Saturday Joe and I finally went to the movies and saw, Saw II. I was really good. The very first seen had me cringing and hiding my face in Joe's arm. I love scary movies but this one is just so gore oriented. It has an ending you arent expecting. In retrospect you see it coming but not as your actually watching the movie.

So while at the mall Joe and I went into a store called Momento's. They sell memorabilia of Elvis, I Love Lucy, Marilyn Monroe, Betty Boop. All those celebs, we love. Joe saw a Betty Boop purse and said it was "me" and that I "had to have it". $30 later it was mine.

I think he was on a spoil Stacy run because 20 minutes later we were outside of Claire's and he saw these furry white slippers and said I had to have those too :-) You know in the Christmas movie Rudoulf the Red Nosed Reindeer that abomible snowman? The slippers are of him. My kitten wont go near my feet now :-) but my feet wont get cold, lol.

Friday I had a weird experience. My phone rang and the caller ID said my late uncles name on it. I hesitated answering because #1 I really have nothing to do with that side of the family and #2 my number is private so I felt this was weird when no one on that side except my mother has my telephone number. I finally answered because smeone aparently took the time to investigate and get my number. On the other end was my cousin Tony. We reminiced a bit and made a date to get together Saturday night. Joe was playing Coakleys in havre De Grace and that is close to where Tony lives so Saturday sure enough he showed up. We talked about the past and now and of course the F word - Family. He said several of my cousins have asked whatever happened to me and that led him to find me. We plan on staying in touch. We shall see. He and I are the "black sheeps" if you will of the notorious Hope family. But hey, Joe says he has finally found someone on that side of my family he likes, lol :-)

How Much Is Your Blog Worth?

2005-11-07T23:58:00.000-05:00

Fund this and tried it:

My blog is worth $18,065.28.
How much is your blog worth?

Joe's blog is worth:

My blog is worth $2,258.16.
How much is your blog worth?

Hehe, I'm worth more!!!

All I... um, Joe, Wants For Christmas Is His New IBANEZ

2005-11-07T23:45:00.000-05:00

The Newest Toy (To Be),
originally uploaded by hopenharmony.

My husband is at it again.

As some of you know his rock band MDA is on hold right now for several reasons, mostly due to the fact that his acoustic duo, Acoustic MoJo, is just very popular and playing sometimes four nights a week leaving no time for the rock band. He misses playing electricly. He misses playing lead solo's. I miss hearing them. There is the remote possibility of MDA playing New Year's Eve but that is still very much up in the air.

This hasn't however stopped him from buying guitars, or wanting more for that matter. He recently aquired his B.C Rich Gunslinger. It looks like Metallica's ride The Lightning album cover! This now brings us up to four electric guitars and one acoustic guitar our house, not to mention speakers, amps, microphones, cables...blah, blah, blah...

So Christmas is coming... He has been eyeing this Ibanez 7 string guitar for a few months. Most guitars are 6 string. I dont know much about all this, but evidentally, with a 7 string there is more variety in the songs you can do... like now he can play KORN! So its now on lay a way! I put it on lay a way for him for Christmas. We found it in a pawnshop locally and know the owner so I got a great deal on it.

This will now make it 5... ugh...

To My Father, Do You Know?

2005-11-06T02:47:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure why I am writing this. It's my emotional side coming out I guess. Unfortunately this happens from time to time. It's gotten better. I had been doing what I thought I needed to do - removing the bad from my life. Bad might not be the right word to use, just the things that make me sad. But it's getting to be that time of year again - the God damned holiday season is upon us!!

Almost 3 years ago I sat at your kitchen table with you for Thanksgiving dinner, a part of your life. I sat there with not only you but your wife, my sister and her then boyfriend, my children and my then boyfriend. We took turns going around the table reciting what we were thankful for.

The following Thanksgiving, you were not a part of my life. Other than my immediate family I didnt have much to be thankful for. A month prior I had had a nasty miscarriage and was still dealing...

Today I sit here, your not a part of my life still. I've heard your dead, I've heard your not dead...but you are. I no longer have a father. My children no longer have a grandfather. I look at the pictures of you and your new step grand daughter and think of how you were never that close to your grandsons, my boys, and then we were a family.

Why do I find it so hard to handle all of this? I know why. It's because your not suppose to be this way. I have tried and tried and tried yet again. When you have a child you dont get to choose just to forget them. How can you do that? How do you love them and just stop - cold? Do you still look in the mirror and see me? I think your afraid to face me because I am you - thoroughly. My mistakes are mine, but you have made the same mistakes. Like father like daughter.

Do you know anything about me anymore? Do you know I love photography now and that two of my photo's have won awards? Mom says you once got interested in photography and took scenic photo's - that what I take.

Do you know I am happier than I've ever been? It's been a long road of ups and downs, but I have finally reached happiness. The man you hate, the man I married makes me happy. He plays his shows 120 times a year and works a day job to take care of me and your grandchildren. Isn't that what should be important, just that I am happy and taken care of? You lied that Thanksgiving when you welcomed him to our family, you never really did. But thats okay because I never really accepted your wife either. She and he are alot alike, they have been there and done the same things - you married her, I married him, so why is he bad for me?

Do you know that my oldest son and I are regaining our relationship again? He comes and stays with me. He calls me to ask advice on girls. After being made fun of for so long, now he is very popular. Do you know he is taller than me? Do you know what his likes and dislikes are? Do you know he wants to be a computer graphics designer for games when he grows up? Do you know he is excellent at art?

Do you know that my baby likes to build motors? Thats his thing. He built a soap box car that ran. Do you know he just started Middle school? Do you know he loves to ride 4 wheelers and dirt bikes? And he is good at basketball? Do you know his eyes turned green - like yours?

Do you know they both call me their sister when we go to the mall? But they are the first to stand up to their friends who hit on me - then I am mom. Do you know they love me? They tell me every night.

Do you know they resent you for never being a part of their life even when you and I got along? We talk about you frequently. I hear that they run into you from time to time.

I've heard that I need to apolgize to your wife. Not until she gives the one we deserve. If she'd have minded her own business and mouth none of this would have happened regardless of whether she thought she was doing a good thing. It simply was not her buisness. She treated us with disrespect (telling my husband he could remain in the car the remainder of the night - like he was a child - when he had done nothing wrong) and in return got disrespected herself.

What's funny is I dont blame you for any of this, do you know that? I blame her, the woman you stand behind. I feel sorry for you mostly. You've lost your blood. And I know you miss me and yes I know you love me. I love you too daddy.

So what am I thankful for this year? My life. My happiness. My family even if its incomplete.

How Do I Live My Life

2005-11-02T14:59:00.000-05:00

How You Life Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.
You tend to always dream of things within reach - and you usually get them.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Kissing Test

2005-11-02T14:56:00.000-05:00

Your Kissing Purity Score: 34% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell...

But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

Lotsa New Changes

2005-11-02T13:21:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry I haven't posted for a week or so (or atleast it seems that long). So much seems to be happening all at once and some of it is a bit scary. I guess I'll start at the beginning and give you the week's recap.

The Dream

Last Tuesday I woke up having had one of my weird dreams. I still have not stopped thinking about it. In the dream Joe and I were (at what seemed to be) still at my grandparents house living. My grandmother was there and my grandfather (God rest his soul) was still alive. He and Joe became the main part of the dream. Joe comes home from work, walks through the door and begins ranting about his boss, Frank. I am looking out the window into the yard that we have now at our car. That was the first strange thing. the inside of the house was my grandparents but the outside was here where we live now. Anyhow, as some of you know Joe has been wanting to leave where he has been working because his boss, Frank to put it rather bluntly is just a class A asshole. So Joe is ranting and my grandfather ells Joe he should just quit the job, that there are thousands of jobs, etc. Joe explains that he can't afford to just quit, we have bills and are trying still to get the car on the road (which we are - this might explain my looking out the window at the car). Grandpa then hands Joe a set of car keys and says not to worry everything would be okay. At this point I wake up because Joe is calling me. The dream is bewildering until...

Thursday Joe comes home and we figure out just what we need to do to get the car on the road. It should be on the road November 28th by our calculations. But the Friday Joe comes home from work and has been fired. This is just all a little too ironic for me. The night my grandfather died I had had a long talk with him. He had been drinking alot and the night before had fallen and got hurt bad. I asked my grandfather what I would do if he died? He told me he would always be there watching out for me. I think my grandfather came to me in my dream to tell me the car issue would be getting resolved (that him handing Joe the car keys) and I think he was telling me what was going to happen with Joe's job (that would be him telling Joe to quit etc.).

The New Job

Well Joe has gotten a new job which officially I can without a doubt say I am opposed to 100%. It scares the living hell out of me to be honest. He has decided (just to get us by - so we can pay our bills, rent, eat, etc.) that he is going to drive a taxi cab. A frind of ours drives a cab and makes really good money, infact more than Joe was making at the other job. I dont think i actually have to go into detail as to why this scares me, do I? I love my husband for doing what he feels he needs to do but at what expense? I was just told a few days ago that a cab driver was hit in the head with a hammer, robbed, stabbed, and the culprit then took his shoes and cab. Um, Hello? So today is Joe's first day.... I am sure I'll have follow ups regarding this.

Misc.

In other news my landlords have decided to turn my home life upside down. They have been here now for 2 days, putting in new windows and literally scraping all of the old paint off the entire wall and redoing it. It's not done yet. My cats hate me for keeping them locked in my bedroom, gosh they cry.... the house has been cold.... Why, can someone please tell me, would they decide to do this now, when the weather is cold? The only compensation I get for all this inconvience is they are taking money off our rent, which is a good thing conmsidering our money is almost non existent because of the whole job thing above (but today he started work again). Ugh!!! I have pictures of this wonderful (not done yet) transformation which I will post later.

I recieved a check for $270 for the hair issue. Remember a few posts ago about my hair catching fire...? With that I have opened both a checking and savings acount!!! I am trying to get organized!

So wish me luck and I will keep you all posted on the new job and house....

I'm in love....

2005-10-27T13:16:00.000-04:00

LOL ;-) I'm in love with the green eyed mad man I live with.... woke up this morning just overwhelmed with love :-) ohhhh, love is sweet! I really did find myself a great guy...

The Little Guy

2005-10-21T18:12:00.000-04:00

Well does he look like me?

Pondering Thoughts Pt. 2

2005-10-20T17:44:00.000-04:00

So the other day, I wrote a post called Pondering Thoughts. To recap, I had just watched the movie "Cousins" starring Ted Danson. There were a couple statements made during the movie which I related to ALOT!

The important one was "He's a failure but the one thing he isn't is a failure at life". So now are you all wondering why this affects me. I guess it has alot to do with how each person would interpret that statement really. That night it made me think of Joe. Joe has been through so much in his life, mostly bad, in my opinion. From being homeless to having your family disown you because of the choices you made when you were young and experimental. Joe is like a big kid, really. It's almost like sometimes he never really grew up. I think that quality for me was one of the main things I loved about him at the beginning of our relationship. There are people who think my husband is "not all there". Oh and believe me he isn't!! They're right!! Joe is definately a unique individual. In fact I can honestly say I have never met anyone like him. But... Joe is one of the most intelligent poeple I've ever known. He knows about everything!! And he has been everywhere. You name it he has been there!

So back to the statement... that night I thought to myself that alot of people think of Joe as a failure. he was always an aspiring musician looking for that record deal. Like most musicians he did what rock n rollers do... the good, bad, and ugly. He has always lived that life. For these reasons he became homeless while living in Hollywood, California. Today he is in a go no where job and at 38 wondering just what the hell he is going to do years from now! But Joe is not a failure at life!! He has experienced it and everything it has to offer.

I was a normal person... went straight from mom and dads to do the right thing, the proper thing. I got married and was miserable. I never traveled, I never had excitement. The only thing good that came from that fiasco was my children. So in essence I am the failure. The one who did what she was suppose to do.

But then there is another way to look at this:

Joe has friends who have gone the straight and narrow their whole lives and are alone, lonely. I have heard them tell him he has something they dont - someone to come home to at night. And as far as those rock n roll dreams. He is still living them and I am living them with him. He plays 140 times a year because I am in his life doing the behind the scenes work. Will Joe ever get that record deal? Probably not, and he isn't trying anymore.

So is Joe a failure? No. He lived his life, his way, no holds barred. He made it through the tough times and in the end grew up a little at the age of 37 when he decided to settle down and get married to a woman with two children. He works day and night to make sure we have what we need and what we want and I love him for that and have never been prouder to be with anyone in my life.

Holy Hair!!! FIRE

2005-10-17T00:48:00.000-04:00

Last night Joe had a gig. When Pete and Joe were setting up Pete realized he couldn't find his microphone. Ok, no harmonies.... About four songs into the show he asks me if I want to take his car back to his house to look for his microphone, figuring it probably fell out ofhis bag. I leave my table and go.... I find the microphone and return.

Upon returning, guess what my table has been taken over!!! I sit on a bar stool sitting in front of the main window of the venue. There is a ledge were patrons sit their drinks while playing the neighboring video game. Well some jackass (I'm really being nice) sat a candle there. All I did was sit down and BAM my hair caught fire!!!

I didnt realize it at first. I started smelling something burning and realized it was my hair when I felt heat on my back. I started screaming and a man came up as I was running towards the bathroom and got the fire out. I went into the bathroom and brushed through my scorched hair with my fingers and chucks started falling out!

I was PISSED!!! If you are going to put bar stools in that location you should certainly NOT have candles on the window ledge. Anyone with long hair could catch fire.

Adding salt to the injury was the fact that the bar manager asked me "what the hell I wanted him to do about it"...like I had done something wrong, more so as if I set my hair on fire on purpose. I demanded the owners telephone number.

The manager told me that they will pay part of the cost involved in repairing my hair. It was his idea that maybe I could get extentions put on. I find this to be bullshit to put it bluntly. Again let me repeat myself. First, the location was not good for having candles (look at the picture although this picture was taken after the fact and the candle was put out and moved it is still seen in the picture), anyone with long hair could have it catch fire. Second, my brand new shirt is ruined and I have a burn the size of a half dollar on my back. I could get nasty and sue the establishment. I think asking them to only pay for all my hair repair costs is being more than fair.

So today I trot off to the salon to see just what can be done. Any of you who know me and what I look like, know I have long hair, the shorted piece now is chin length before cutting the singed edges off! I refuse to have short hair!! The stylist told me my hair is severely damaged. Extentions will be approximately $220, the cut to remove the ends is $35 and I need a thorough deep conditioning which is $15. Total: $270

I had better not be given a hard time or $270 will turn into alot more, doctors bills for my burned back, pain and suffering.... after all a woman's vanity is her looks, hair being essential!!! It's bad enough that getting extentions will take a whole day!!!

I have given them until Tuesday to reply!

Pondering Thoughts

2005-10-15T04:26:00.000-04:00

It's 4:28 in the morning and for some reason I just am "happy". I stayed up and watched some movie called "Cousins" with Ted Danson in it and although I was sort of watching it and sort of not watching it a few things said during the movie have stuck in my head. They are: "He's a failure but the one thing he isn't is a failure at life" and "You have one life, ypu can either have chicken shit or chicken salad". I'll explain in a later post (possibly tomorrow) why these statements have affected me but lets just say this for now... I walked in my bedroom, looked at my sleeping husband and smiled, happily.

Poor Frances Bean

2005-10-10T23:04:00.000-04:00

I found this on The Paved Earth. I thought this poem was amusing but at the same time nothing I would say to an innocent child about her parents. I personally happen to think Kurt Cobain was a musical genius, he just had "issues", lots of them. Courtney Love is just an idiot, but I like some of her music. But its up to each persons personal preference and Ii certainly would not want my child to ever see something like this written about me and their deceased father.

To Frances Bean Cobain
By Melli (2000/11/28)

your father was a madman,
to some he was a king,
your mother a useless wench,
a whore who couldn't sing.
you a child of tasteless fools,
a child of cowardly love,
a night of rage, a night of sex,
and they thought it was enough.

I'd take you in my home,
and mother you as I see fit,
take you from that useless hag,
and that life of pseudo-wit.
a coward you called father,
a vile mother they chose for you,
a life of endless insanity,
a life of pointless woo.

Learning To Live

2005-10-07T17:33:00.000-04:00

I keep my head on straight and my eyes wide open
I try to move forward wishing and hoping
I took a hold of myself in the middle of November
Don't you look back now is all I can remember

I feel like I'm leaving
Like I'm leaving home
Like the clouds are parting, and I'm not alone

I'm learning to live living to learn
Starting to sing my song right, or wrong
Breaking away setting me free
Free to be, my own me
I'm learning to live

I got my vanity crisis from my beautiful mother
I'm not gonna go there I'm anything other
Take another deep breath now it's just one more hurdle
I'm breaking this line before it comes full circle

I feel like I'm leaving
Like I'm leaving home
Like he clouds are parting, and I'm not alone

I'm learning to live living to learn
Starting to sing my song right, or wrong
Breaking away setting me free
Free to be, my own me

I found a place, where I can lay my shit down
Somewhere that I can finally be myself - be myself

Bookcrossing.com

2005-10-05T01:39:00.000-04:00

Found this interesting little site tonight. I think I am going to sign up and give this a whirl. I have some books that I absolutely love and I think others would love them too, so why not?

What is Book Crossing?

the practice of leaving a book in a public place to be picked up and read by others, who then do likewise.

So I figured I might elaborate on this a little, add the Stacy touch. If there is anyone out there who would like to trade books with me, let me know. We will both register with the above site so we can comment on the books etc, but it gets us started. Who knows, maybe we'll start a trend!

The Corpse Bride

2005-10-04T15:52:00.000-04:00

Michael and I decided to go to the movies today since he had off from school. We saw The Corpse Bride. I loved it, he thought it was ok!!!

Rent A Dildo

2005-10-03T02:22:00.000-04:00

I have in the past thought maybe I had seen close to it all but now I can without a doubt say I have officially seen it all!

Movies

2005-10-03T02:08:00.000-04:00

Joe and I went to the movies tonight. We saw Jumpers Hole Cinema, so we went. Tickets here are only $2.50, but the cost of popcorn, candy and soda's are just like at any other theatre. All I can say, because I don't want to ruin in for those of you who haven't seen it is it was great!! The graphics were outstanding!

We got there about 30-40 minutes before the movie began so Joe and I goofed of with my digital camera. Some of the pictures are very funny. We did this before anyone else entered the theatre. Joe actually sat down on the floor right in front of the big screen like a child would in front of a television during cartoons. The caption I used on Flickr is "What No Football".

Other movies on the "to be seen" list include The Fog, Flight Plan, and The Corpse Bride.

Michael's Getting Into It Too :-)

2005-10-02T16:01:00.000-04:00

So this weekend Michael and I had a lot of fun. We ate all his favorites. Ravioli, Taco's and Pebbles cereal topped the list. Although he made me go to the grocery store and buy other things too, lol :-). I can't wait to have the car on the road so he can stay his whole week's again. Right now he can't because he goes to school on the other side of town.

Saturday Michael and I went up to the basketball courts at the school close to here. I took pictures of him playing around. We played kickball with the basketball and that about wore me out!! Eek, I am getting old!! I think I will be buying him a soccer ball sometime in the near future. Kicking a basketball hurts!!

We also found this very cool tree. The branches hung so low around the trunk that it was almost making a fort of sorts. Someone has taken somepaint from the school apparently and drew lines in different colors all over the tree. Michael played monkey and of course was everywhere in the tree. Pictures of this adventure can be found here.

Later that night he grabbed my digital camera and started snapping pictures of just about everything, but mostly the kittens. I think he is getting interested in photography a little. He took some really great pictures for a 12 year old. If you want to check those out they can be found here. I know he is excited to see if he gets any comments on them. If he keeps acting interested I might try to buy him a digital camera for Christmas.

If you are into super hero's you might want to check this out!! It's a website where you can create your own super hero. For the girls you can also create a character that resembles a fairy. That's what I did but seen is the character Michael cretaed.

Over all we had a really good time together. I am missing him terribly now.

Things To Do

2005-09-30T10:07:00.000-04:00

Find out about your birthday here.

I found out:
You entered: 7/17/1973

Your date of conception was on or about 24 October 1972.

You were born on a Tuesday under the astrological sign Cancer.
Your Life path number is 8.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2441880.5.
The "golden" number for 1973 is 17. (A number showing the year of the lunar or Metonic cycle. It is reckoned from 1 to 19, and is so called from having formerly been written in the calendar in gold.)
The "epact" number for 1973 is 25. (The moon's age at the beginning of the calendar year, or the number of days by which the last new moon has preceded the beginning of the year.)
The year 1973 was not a leap year.

As of 9/30/2005 10:04:42 AM CDT
You are 32 years old.
You are 386 months old.
You are 1,680 weeks old.
You are 11,763 days old.
You are 282,322 hours old.
You are 16,939,324 minutes old.
You are 1,016,359,482 seconds old.

There are 290 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 33 candles on it.

Those 33 candles produce 33 BTU's, or 8,316 calories of heat (that's only 8.3160 food Calories!). You can boil 3.77 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1973 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1973 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1973 in the US there were approximately 2,158,802 marriages (10.6%) and 708,000 divorces (3.5%)
In 1973 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)

Your birthstone is Ruby. The Mystical properties of Ruby:
Ruby is said to open one's heart to love.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources) Carnelian

Your birth tree is: Elm Tree, the noble-mindedness: Pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, tends to a know-all-attitude and making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humour, practical.

There are 86 days till Christmas 2005!

The moon's phase on the day you were born was waning gibbous.

I Do Everything...

2005-09-29T00:45:00.000-04:00

So I've been a bit down. I am having some health issues again that have me very stressed out. Truthfully I've been so depressed I havent really been doing much household things. Tomorrow I am going to try and pull myself together enough to get some of it accomplished. It's not alot, just general straightening up, washing the clothes, this and that...

Joe's been really great about it. He's very worried about me. Tonight we went down to McDonald's to grab something to eat and on the way home he said he missed my cooking. I felt bad. He tried so hard, he works so hard. I feel like he does so much and yet theres never any lead way or something comes up, like now my health again. He wasn't complaining about my not cooking lately, he just misses it and he made of point of making that clear.

In fact he said, "Its not that you dont do anything, because you do EVERYTHING!"

And he's right. I make sure his problems disappear, I make his calls, I schedule his appointments and gigs, I take care of the band, the acoustic act too, and all its little dilema's. I cook and clean and somehow still manage to keep my head somewhat on straight, lol :-)

And why? Because I love him, no matter what. Just like he loves me, no matter what.

The Good, Bad, Funny... My Weekend In Review

2005-09-26T23:13:00.000-04:00

For the most part my weekend was like any other weekend I have, BUSY. Joe was suppose to play out Thursady through Sunday but Thursday and Sundays show both cancelled. Fridays show was at Bull On The Beach in Bel Air. MoJo plays there once a month, sometimes twice. This is always a fun time. I got a suprise while there. A new friend, Kathie and her boyfriend Tim from the band Loan Me A Dime came out. In the past we had only spoken on the phone. It was nice meeting them and Tim got up and performed wo songs. Very nice people and Tim has a great voice.

Saturday was spent at Remington's in Beltsville. Walking into this place I honestly had the feeling this would not be a good show. It just did not seem like the typical type room for MoJo to play in. Lesson learned: Looks are definately decieving! The people here were great and very friendly. Before the first set was even through someone was buying not only Joe and Pete, but also me a round! Cool! The owner was there and he was a very friendly man. Needless to say, MoJo was a hit and we will be booked back there through the new year!

Sunday was probably the most drama based day of mine and Joe's weekend. Before I go into this I have to give some history about 2 details of Sunday. #1 We went to Malibu's Lakeside which is about 5 minutes from our house. They were having a benefit called Rock For Sarah. Sarah is a beautiful little girl who was born with multiple problems. To read more on Sarah go here. #2 When I refer to Ghoulie Bass, this is an old bass player that used to be in Joe's rock band MDA. When I refer to the bitch, that would be Ghoulie Bass' wife.

Joe and I were having a great time. We ran into alot of old friends from other local bands, hung out with the three bands that were playing: Without Reason, Silvertung (Ghoulie's current band), and Unbroken. We were laughing and carrying on. Just plain having a really good time.

More past history: There was an incident last October that occured (I wont go into deatils of this for personal reasons) which cause Ghoulie to quit MDA. Upon doing this he still had Joe's guitars and amp because Ghoulie owned the trailer everything was hauled in. He refused to return these items and the police needed to be called. Due to this "the bitch" hates me and Joe!! Whatever!! What was I suppose to do?

Back to the story: We were there about 2 hours, I go to the ladies room. In the ladies room there are two stalls. I was in one and someone else was in the other. I hear two women walk in and one remarks that "great theres a line". I hurry it up and exit the stall to see "the bitch". The woman tells her she can go ahead and go first. "The bitch" makes arather lewd comment I wont repeat in regards to me and I walk straight up to her and get in her face and tell her she isnt worth the time... blah blah. I walk out of the ladies room and tell Joe he had better get me the hell out of there or I was going to break her in half. Now I am no bad ass but I definately can hold my own. Anyone who knows me personally can testify to that. "The bitch" also is about 4'11" and 100lbs wet so... literally I could break her in half like a twig! Joe tells me I should go knock her teeth out of her mouth. Being the more calm of the two of us I opt not to do this for a few reasons, mainly this was benefit for a sick child!

We eventually make it back outside to the pavillion where the events are happening. Joe is being Joe and swearing he going to say something to her. I finally gave in and said no I'd handle it. We finally see her and I walk up to her and ask her "what is your fucking problem"... she gives me the hand telling me "she doesnt have a fucking problem" while rolling her eyes and pivoting around to return to her little nest. In the process her hand almost slaps me in the face... Um... ok, did I say I would be mature, calm? Guess what? I pushed her so hard she flew about 20 feet into 3 other women like a bowling ball hitting pins! I think she got my point!

This isnt the first time Joe and I have had to deal with her mouth and to tell the truth it felt good doing what I did. I do not condone violence at all but she is just a straight up piece of shit who thinks she is better than everyone. I dont think she will be yapping much anymore about us!

Ok done!

I Told You So... I DID GO RED

2005-09-23T18:28:00.000-04:00

Beam Me Up Scotty

2005-09-23T01:57:00.000-04:00

I found this on Lewie's blog and needed to check it out...

Blog In Space

Evidentally some people believe that aliens might be reading our blog's. My thoughts are, um, "Jesus, what they must think of me!!!"

Anyhow, transmitting...

I See The Light

2005-09-23T01:15:00.000-04:00

I See The Light,
originally uploaded by hopenharmony.

On another note...

I was messing around tonight (20 minutes ago) with my camera and a candle and wahla, this was the outcome. I love it. I wish I'd have looked better for the picture but hey... its 1:15 in the morning!

There are more on my Flickr account from this set!! Take a look!

I AM RED

2005-09-22T23:43:00.000-04:00

So today was a hellashis day!!!

If you know me (in other words if you are a friend who knows me REALLY not just online) you know I DO NOT like to walk anywhere. Well Sean came over. It's Thursday, it's our day to shop and plain hang out. I am really on this thrift store kick lately. Who knew you could find such awesome stuff CHEAP, and alot of times brand new and still CHEAP? Well when he gets here I am working still. We didnt get to go out until nearly 1pm, he shows up and I am still on the phone with clubs, ugh, somedays this phone never stops and other days it doesnt ever ring! Finally I get away from the phone and we head out. Checking my mail on the way, I get a check from a client (acoustic solo artist) for $120. Cool... The bank its drawn on is just up the street. ID in hand, check in the other we are off to the bank. Here starts my hellashis day!!!

Just a quick interruption here: On the way to the bank we see this punk rock girl who lives up the street. She used to have a green mohawk. I have, since moving here, wanted to ask her if I could snap her picture but never had the nerve. Today for some reason I had the nerve. I introduced myself. She said she had seen me around. Ia sked to take her picture, she said okay. I commented on her "cool and different, punk clothes", she said she makes them herself. Neato! If you look closely at the picture you can see stitching around the collar of the shirt!! I guess she probably moreso alters them!! Anyway I was proud of myself for having nerve today!

Back to the bank story: I dont have an account. I need a second form of ID. They wont take my social security card either! Assholes. hey will however take a piece of mail in my name like a bill. Okay... Sean decides to hike back to my house to recover a bill for me. I walk up to the thrift store to scope it out. On the way I take some weird pictures that for some reason on Flickr right now, people are loving. One is of an old newspaper and the other is of this key I saw on a white brick wall. We meet back 20 minutes later outside of the bank. Once inside I am informed that the address on my ID and the address on the bill dont match!! Oh come on now people. I am getting very, um, shall we say PISSED!!!

I give up! sean and I decide to call it a loss and walk back to my house. Wait, I have an old bank debit card with my married name on it!!! We get home, I find it, again back to the bank we go! Can we all have a brief moment here? Finally I get my money!! I am frustrated but getting over it.

At the thrift store I buy Sean some pans for making a cake and a stuffed animal dog. I saw it and it reminded me of him. Mushy gushy! I found a scarecrow to put on my porch for the new season. Joe now owns 3 new shirts (all new with tags). I got a blazer, an OLD NAVY skirt, and 2 pairs of GAP jeans (new with tags). I love GAP! All this for $42. I was happy again! of course I am a woman and shopping will always make me happy.

Other highlights of the day: Sean got his pirahna fish. Two of them. Sean and I went to lunch at Subway. I ate a chicken bacon ranch wrap at subway. I normally just get a meatball sub. I think I found a new fav! Oh and last but not least, dyed my hair tonight... RED!

Fortune Cookie

2005-09-22T10:45:00.000-04:00

Pure coincidence I know, but last night I had Chinese food. I am on this kick lately of eating Sweet & Sour Chicken. This morning I stroll on over to Andy's blog and read what his fortune cookie said to him. He must've eaten Chinese too. Anyhow mine said "opportunity will be knocking at your door". Cool.

I found an online fortune cookie, fortune generator. It's kinda cool. Check it out!

IQ Test

2005-09-22T01:12:00.000-04:00

So I'm bored... it's 1:13 in the morning. I'm not tired. I took an IQ test. According to them I am a genius!!! Cool beans!

"Your age adjusted IQ score is 147 and the average score of all test takers is 100."

Love Calculator

2005-09-22T00:36:00.000-04:00

I don't remember how or why I found this tonight while surfing but needless to say I found it!

Try The Love Calculator.

Joe and I got an 83% score of having a lasting relationship.

Um okay... well I guess that's better than a 50% or lower right?

Joseph Keith loves Stacy Lynne

83 %

Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between Joseph Keith and Stacy Lynne has a very good chance of being successful, but this doesn't mean that you don't have to work on the relationship. Remember that every relationship needs spending time together, talking with each other etc.

Body Wrap

2005-09-19T23:04:00.000-04:00

As some of you are aware I have put on a few pounds since we moved 7 months ago. Most of this is due to the fact I am not on the go as much as I used to be. I am comfortable being in my "space". It's not that I eat any more than normal, its just I am not as active. So, needless to say, I have gotten a little epressed over this. I mean I dont look bad. I guess its just me. Insecurity setting in I suppose.

Sean and I were out today and I came across a Day Spa that does Body Wraps for $85. They guarentee you to lose 4-15 inches in one session. Being skeptical I asked questions. The obvious being how long does this last? I got the answer that it depends on the person, blah, blah, you have to watch what you eat.... They also have a suppliment to help you maintain your new found body for $68. Sean has offered to pay for the wrap and I can afford the suppliment.

Does anyone know anything about this? I would think it would be very, very popular if it indeed works these wonders. Tonight I researched... Found thisfrom fat free Kitchen.

What do you all think?

The Vaserman Wedding

2005-09-19T22:34:00.000-04:00

What a beautiful day yesterday was!! Pete, Joe and I attended the wedding of Karen Vaserman and Rich Ropp. It took place at Herrington Bay Marina/Beach Club in Tracy's Landing, Maryland. About an hour away for us. They performed as Acoustic MoJo. It was weird seeing Joe so dressed up. They only played one song but it was he important song - the song the bride walks down the isle to!!!

The couple chose Howie Day's, "Collide" as that song. They also had a string quartett. The bride was beautiful. The setting was beautiful. I've never been to an outdoor wedding before much less one set by the water. I took some great pictures. This was a Jewish wedding so it was abit longer in duration. They did the breaking of the glass, a sand ceremony, sharing of wine, etc ... The only down fall for me was when at one point the officiant said th e attendees might want to join hands with their significant other and "renew" their own vows, which I thought was a special added extra, but couldn't do because Joe was in the performance area. All we culd do was look at one another and mouth "I love you".

To The Beach We Went

2005-09-18T00:21:00.002-04:00

Lucas and his step daughter, Kayla came down overnight. What a cutey pie she is!! She is very spoiled though. She is not happy at all unless she gets her way, but hey, aren't all women like that really?

After much discussion this morning between the kids, Brian, Michael, and Kayla, Lucas and I thought going to the beach would be the best plan for the day. I think we all really wanted to go to the Maryland Renissaunce Festival but for several reasons it just wasn't the best plan (money, Kayla would get bored; she's only 4).

After stopping at the sore nd gathering some new beach towels and something for Kayla to wear in the water, we were off. Our desination: Gunpowder State Park, in White Marsh, Maryland, just down the street from where Lucas and I both grew up.

Everyone enjoyed the water except me. I just didnt want to get in. I've gained a few pounds since moving and not having a car to keep me on the go, so i would have felt uncomfortable in all honesty. The kids had the most fun. I took a ton of pictures which is my new found pastime.

Disapointment & Cemetary's

2005-09-15T01:00:00.000-04:00

Great combination huh? What a day I've had.... and it was hot and muggy after a light rain.

First things first, Sean came by and we walked to Rite Aid to drop off my "test" film from the new 35mm Canon. Done...

At 11am I had to be at Maxway for a job interview/take a test session. Maxway is way beneath me. I have far too many qualifications but considering I still do not have my car on the road, I need to find a job in walking distance. So, being a cashier isn't the end of the world right? I guess the pro's are I can wear my everyday clothes. I guess I am just used to siting at a desk wearing a pants suit doing paperwork (yes people there are spellings and punctuations wrong on this blog, but when it's work I do proof read)... Anyhow, I began feeling low when I realized after looking at the "test" that any moron could pass this. Math questions, um like a customer total is $5.00, they hand you a $20.00 bill, what is the correct change? Oh come on already!! Obviously I pass this with flying colors. They will "let me know" in a couple days. Sean says I am over qualified. I am used to making what is considered good money. On the application I had list past employers and my wages. Maybe they were scared I would want more than minimum wage. I am sure thats all their paying. Who knows? Whatever!

Back to Rite Aid. Nothing turned out. I mean NOTHING! There wasn't even anything showing on the negatives! Now after researching today I have found it could be a few things. #1 The shutter and apeture settings were wrong (possibly). #2 I had a hard time getting the film to rewind and at one point in the dark opened the back of the camera so - maybe I exposed it. #3 If the settings were correct, I could have screwed things up because I put a tele converter lens on for added zoom. I now know that my settings should have been changed for this. So tomorrow I will resume testing... ugh... I am bummed.

The cemetary Joe's grandmother and step-grandfather are buried in is across the street from Rite Aid so Sean and I walk over. Joe has wanted to find out where they are located wihin the cemetary so I decided to check into this. We find out where they are and head out to locate the spot. During this time I am snapping pictures. Cemetary's really are beautiful beacuse of the landscaping, monuments and statues. I took some great shots with my digital camera but for the life of us, Sean and I could not find the burial plots. We finally ask for help after an hour of looking. The man who helped us knew exactly where the location was. Joe's grandparents plots were completely overgrown by grass and weeds. I took it upon myself to have them take a week eater to them while I was there. I am after all family now. I did take pictures of the plot but will not post them out of respect for the Arrington family and Joe.

I have mentioned before that Joe's family is sort of a mystery to me. He has nothing to do with his sister or father (ironic really considering my own family situation). His mother passed away long before I came into the picture. God, how I'd have loved her. She sounds like she was wonderful and I know Joe loved her very much. We went one time to where his grandfather is buried. This today was a new member. My poor baby... really all we have is each other and my boys. I just love him so much that I want to know where he comes from. But does that really matter?

Tomorrows a new day...

The Cracked Bell by Charles Baudelaire

2005-09-14T16:24:00.000-04:00

How bittersweet it is, on winter's night,
To listen, by the sputtering, smoking fire,
As distant memories, through the fog-dimmed light,
Rise, to the muffled chime of churchbell choir.

Lucky the bell—still full and deep of throat,
Clear-voiced despite its years, strong, eloquent—
That rings, with faithful tongue, its pious note
Like an old soldier, wakeful, in his tent!

My soul lies cracked; and when, in its despair,
Pealing, it tries to fill the cold night air
With its lament, it often sounds, instead,

Like some poor wounded wretch—long left for dead
Beneath a pile of corpses, lying massed
By bloody pool—rattling, gasping his last.

WTF is RIGHT!!

2005-09-14T09:57:00.000-04:00

So this morning I am doing the daily ritual of looking at my fellow blogger's blogs and I go to Raven's blog. I read her post entitled WTF? My response is WTF - Holy Fuck! I am ashamed that we live in a society where this shit can happen. I decided to post this becuase I feel like the word needs to get out out about the sick fucks living in this world - 2 of which were apparently found, thank God. Unfortunately it wasn't sooner!

Joe -N- Stacy

2005-09-14T02:15:00.000-04:00

LOL ;-) What a couple!! We have invaded South Park and you can too by going here. To save your character you have to do it as a screen shot!!! Have fun!

Be sure to leave a link to your blog or photo album so that we can see your character too.

A friend of mine on Flickr told me there is a group on Flickr where you can post your character when you've created it, called South Park.

Her New Toy

2005-09-13T19:12:00.000-04:00

The Babies Are A Growin'

2005-09-13T14:08:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to give you all an update on the babies. They are now 26 days old. Each has their own little personality. All are doing great!!

Gracie a.k.a Blueberry
Oh what a little trouble maker. First born and the only male. He is now climbing out of the crib (the drawer) everytime he gets a chance. He walks around with no problem and plays and fights with the girls. Hmmph... boys!! He is Joe's favorite.

Moo a.k.a. Lil' Moo Moo
Isn't she precious? She even has spots on her pink little nose. She came second. She is very passive and quiet. She keeps to herself but at the same time doesn't take any crap from her older brother. She walks around but loves laying on her back and rolling around.

Holy
Named by Michael because he found her first and said "holy shit" and third in line of birth. She is the second largest of this crew. She is second in line also of being called "trouble". She obviously looks up to her big brother. She will look you straight in the face for minutes at a time and this just melts you.

Hope a.k.a. Runt
The last of the babies born. She is very, very small and fraile. She meows a lot. She is passive but loves to explore. She also holds her own with her siblings for being a tiny tot. I called her Spaghetti Noodle, saying if she got any bigger she might pass as String Bean.

Reborn

2005-09-13T12:14:00.000-04:00

Now I'm making leaps and bounds
Changing from within and out (I am)
I know you haven't seen enough
To pass a judgement, don't give up (I can)

I know I'm changing everyday
Casting off from my old ways (I am)
Just some patience now is all I ask
To show you what's behind this mask (I can)

(Spred my wings and) Fly - show you I'm reborn
(Don't you ever) Cry - I'll show you I'm reborn

I've never taken all these risks
Stress myself for just one kiss (I am)
I'm asking you for open arms
Give you what's inside this heart (I can)

Oh, but I'm not perfect I will fall
Make mistakes I have my faults (I am)
But I will promise I can change
Living in the sun filled days (I can)

(Spred my wings and) Fly - show you I'm reborn
(Don't you ever) Cry - I'll show you I'm reborn

(Have some) Faith in me
(Have some) Faith in me
(Show you) My new form
(Show you) That I am reborn

Show you I'm reborn
I'm reborn
Show you I'm reborn
Yeah

Canon AE-1 Program

2005-09-12T21:08:00.000-04:00

As most of you know I've been on a digital photography binge. I started this probably 3 or so years ago. I've gotten better and better. Currently 5 of my photo's are nominated for awards. Cool beans... plus I just got my new (old - used) digital off Ebay.

I've started thinking lately about learning real photography. Not the type you take with a disposable camera or a point and shoot camera. I want to do the type of photography my mother did all those years ago. The type my grandfather did. He tried so many times to get me to take an interest but I just didn't at that time. Now I wish I had. They both had photography studios. Keepsake Portraits to be exact. These were the types of studios that families went to to have family portraits done. Not those quickie types either like Sears or Olan Mills. I grew up in these studios. My mother told me just last night on the phone how when I was 5 years old I would tell the children getting their photo's taken how to pose.

There's only one difference. I dont want to be a studio photographer. I dont want to take photo's of families. I like "real life" photo's. The sky, nature, weird off the wall things. My favorite is black and white. It's dramatic.

Last night I was looking on Ebay. I remember the camera's my mother and grandfather used. I have a couple on "watch" right now, but I dont think I'll be needing to bid. Sean and I went to the thrift store today and hit the jackpot! I found a Canon AE-1 Program, with the strap, lenses and filters ($34.95). Sean found extra lenses, a tele to be exact which will give me more range complete with it's case ($8.95). We found an awesome camera bag big enough to carry all these accessories and my digital camera ($5.95). Okay, yes I even found a hard case for Joe's cables and microphones, etc ($3.95)... On Monday's they have everything in the store 25% off so all this came to less then $42.00. On Ebay I wuldn't even get the camera for that. And it works. Even the battery was still good. I still need to get a flash. I bought film and am anxious to use it. I found a manual of sorts online but I am still a bit confused about shutter speeds and F-Stops. I think I will mess around a bit tomorrow with it and Sunday I am taking it and my digital camera to a wedding.

Maybe I can be as good as my mother and my grandfaher in Heaven above someday. Maybe I'll just make them both proud.

Updates, Rants and Raves, etc...

2005-09-11T00:02:00.000-04:00

The latest...

Thanks to these wonderful little pills, Oxycotins, I am able to walk without feeling like I am dying post surgery. In fact I actually went to the gig last night that Joe had. By the end of the night I was a bit squeemish but... tonight Joe and I went to dinner down the street at Maynard's and watched about 20 minutes of the band, Mary Lou and The Untouchables. Very bluesy... but I liked it, of course that might've been the pills, lol :-) God, knows I am a rock n roll woman!

Raves...

I have been doing the happy dance all day! This morning I was awoken by the sound of a light knock at my door. I stumble out of bed and wahla, at my feet was the package of all packages! My new - old, bestfriend... my plaything, my newfound joy... my digital camera. It's new to me, but I go it from Ebay used. It works so I dont care. It's like my old camera, but it is the model prior to it. Mine was a Canon A85 Powershot, this one is an A70. Same camera, everything is exactly the same just the controls are a bit different. Anyhow my photo taking has resumed and my friends on Flickr are happy I am back. I've posted a dozen or so new pictures including some self photo's (you know hold the camera out in front of you and snap).

Rants...

Alhough I am thrilled with my camera. The seller was horrible about communication and my camera took forever to get here. I wanted it for this past Thursday since we were on the Clipper Ship for 3 hours. Oh well...

Tomorrow is Sunday and last Wednesday I emailed my sister asking her to ask my father if he would like to take his daughter to the flea market on Sunday... no reply. She probably never even asked him for me. Now that she finally has him to herself why ruin that? I tried again, and yes, am hurt again.

If any of you read my Interview Me post, you'll understand this: God damn it Lewie, why did you bring up Oreo cookies? I haven't stopped eating them since!! You made me crave them!!!

Surgery Today

2005-09-09T08:49:00.000-04:00

UPDATE

I am home. I hurt (a lot). I have to get a prescription filled later. Thanks for all the emails and entries. They mean alot. ~Stacy

Wish me luck. As some of you know, in June of 2002, I had surgery for cancer. Cervical. This put me through a great ordeal, not the diagnoses itself or the actual surgery, although that in itself was shocking and very scary, but the aftermath of what I dealt with. In some cases the cancer itself can effect your blood and it causes you to get "anemic". This happened with me. My body was not producing enough red blood cells and half of the white blood cells it was producing weren't healthy. This causes you to feel weak. You have good days, then bad days, some horrible days where you cant even manage to pull yourself out of bed. Simple everyday things wear you out. My son Michael became my bestfriend during this time. He took care of me and would make me take breaks to sit down when he would see I was tired. He still does. At one point my doctors actually thought I had leukaemia. I still get very confused myself over my actual diagnoses. Did I or did I not have a form of Leukaemia? My answer is always yes and no...

What is Leukaemia?

Leukaemia means a cancer of the blood forming system. Most types of leukaemia cause abnormal white blood cells to be made in the bone marrow. These cells can get into the blood stream and circulate around the body. They do not work normally and so do not give you the protection from infection that they should.

Blood Cells And Leukaemia

In order to understand why leukaemia affects you the way it does, it helps to understand how blood cells are normally produced and what they do.

Normally, blood cells are produced in the bone marrow. They are made in a controlled way, when your body needs them. All blood cells start as the same type of cell, called a stem cell. As they develop (mature) they turn into one of three types of blood cell:

* White blood cells
* Red blood cells
* Platelets

In acute leukaemia, too many white blood cells are made. The type of acute leukaemia you have tells you which type of white blood cell has become cancerous. In myeloid leukaemia, it is the myeloid white blood cells that are cancerous. In lymphoblastic leukaemia, it is the lymphocyte white blood cells that are cancerous.

When too many white blood cells are made, they take up much more room in the bone marrow than they would normally. This means that there is not enough space for making normal white blood cells, red blood cells and platelets.

The white blood cells help to fight infection. If you have too many abnormal white blood cells, the normal cells that fight infections are crowded out. So you are more likely to pick up infections and they can be more difficult to get rid of.

Red blood cells carry oxygen round the body. If you do not have enough of these, you have anaemia. This can make you tired and breathless.

Platelets are vital for normal blood clotting. If you do not have enough platelets, you will have bleeding problems such as nosebleeds, very heavy periods or a fine rash of red spots caused by bleeding into the skin.

In the end I ended up having a lot of doctors appointments, alot of blood taken weekly for blood count readings and lots of "new" medication which was administered in needle form in my a$$. Not pleasant. All this after the initial biopsy's and surgery.

Cone Biopsy

This therapy is used to diagnose and remove abnormal tissue. A cone-shaped tissue sample is surgically removed from the cervix under general or spinal anesthesia in an operating room. The specimen is sent to a pathologist for detailed microscopic examination. If cancer is found, additional treatments are indicated. The cone biopsy is usually performed for suspected cancer.

The surgery I had was called Electrocauterization or a LEEP procedure. Basically they scraped me out like you would a canaloupe.

Electrocauterization

Loop electrosurgical excision procedure (LEEP) emits low-voltage, high-frequency radio waves through a thin loop of wire. Electrical current quickly and safely cuts away abnormal tissue. The procedure takes about 10 to 30 minutes and is performed in the doctor's office or as an outpatient in the hospital. LEEP allows the removed tissue to be examined by a pathologist to ensure that the lesion was completely removed and provide an accurate assessment.

So in October 2004, I had a miscarriage. In the ER that day I was told after the doctor's had reviewed my sonogram that there were 2 small growths formed. It wasnt until recently I went back to the doctors to have this checked. Honestly I was scared. I didnt want to go through all of this again. I didnt want to put my family (Joe and my kids) and friends through this again, but I had started having the same symptoms so I went.

Here we go again... today I have the same procedure again. Wish me luck...

My Montage

2005-09-08T01:50:00.000-04:00

Lewie made me a mosaic of ME! Cool huh? The "big" picture is of me wearing Willy Wonka glasses.

Interview Me

2005-09-08T01:16:00.000-04:00

Okay so Lewie had this meme on his blog, it's sort of a game, and I opted to let him interview me so these are his questions for me below. If anyone would like me to interview them just leave me a comment telling me so but you might want to read the official rules first. Let the interview begin:

1. What is the proper way to eat an oreo?

Gosh, I don't know. I just kinda eat it whole. I don't think there is a proper way.

2. If you could be any animal (mythical or real), what would you be and why?

A unicorn. One of my favorite childhood animated cartoons was The Last Unicorn. My father always promised me he would buy that DVD but I've never recieved it. I love the mystical, spiritual, aura that surrounds them and their myths.

3. Where would you like to take your significant other on a dream
vacation?

I don't even have to think about this question. My answer is without a doubt, Nantucket Island. It's been literally 20 years since I have been there. I have spoken to people online who have visited the island recently and where I would have thought it would have modernized alot over 20 years, I was told their community has some kind of law that prohibits modernization. The island is beatiful. Sandy roads, beaches for as far as the eye can see, cobblestone streets in the shopping district. Undescribable. Unless you've actually been there you could never imagine the beauty.

4. What is the strangest thing that was ever said to you?

That their wife said they could have sex with me!!!

5. What would you like on your tombstone?

Hopefully it will say I was loved and that I was a good wife and mother. After all my entire world is my children and Joe. I've made one here.

Bowling With Joe

2005-09-06T16:40:00.000-04:00

In he five years Joe and I have been together, we have never been bowling. We talked about it, but it always seemed that something was the better idea. Well, yesterday that changed. After a stressful weekend (post below this one), Joe and I finally went bowling.

Our days started by wanting to get something to eat. We went to El Salto's but they were closed for the Labor day holiday, so then it seemed like we were going to just go to Subway when I decided, lol, yes "I" decided... that we were going to go to the Hunan Village Resturaunt, which is directly behind El Salto's. This is funny because I only like a few things on any Chinese menu. So many times Joe has wanted to go there and I refused. He actually got an attitude because of my indecisiveness at first but I had to point out he was getting to eat where he'd wanted to go for a long time. Men!!

So we go done there (an yes it was delicious - I will now go there more often) and went over to Rosso's a local music store. From there Guitar Center, which was cool. I normally hate going there because Joe gets wrapped up in playing guiatars and all I can do is sit there. Guitar Center was having their Labor Day sale so every musician in town was there. We ran into some friends.
We bought 2 new par can lights and a set of headphones for me for when I am on the computer in the middle of the night and Joe's sleeping. I talked with Bobby, MDA's new bassist and he is going to get me a job there. Okay, cool...

From there BOWLING... It was fun to get Joe pissed...lol. I hate to say that but I am the type of person who can have fun doing just about anything. Winning, losing, it doesnt matter. Joe on the other hand is my opposite. If he isn't good at something, he dosnt want to do it, and if he has to, he whines like a baby. Needless tosay, I kicked his ass... both games. In the end even he said it was fun but boy was he frustrated....

Game 1:
Joe 72
Stacy 106

Game 2:
Joe 62
Stacy 103

The rest of the night we chilled at home. I have been rather upset lately with some things and I discussed them with Joe. Lately it seems everything is somehow music related, that there is no time for "us". Even when we do things together most the conversation is about the band or duo. I basically told him if there weren't changes made soon I was done. He asked me not to leave him, and my reply was for him to tell me (try to justify) why I should stay. I think that hit home. We love each other, but I want a husband, not a 24 hour guitar player. I'd never ask him to give up his music but he needs to learn to seperate our marriage from it. Or atleast moderate it. We'll see...

Flat Tires, Arguments, and Just Plain UGGGHHHHH!!

2005-09-05T02:30:00.000-04:00

The last 24 hours have been rough. At about this time last night (2:30am), Joe, Pete, and I were heading home from a gig. We stopped at a Hardee's to grab something to eat and as we pulled away from the drive thru window, something didnt sound right. You know that bumping, thumping sound. In other words, a flat tire.

Little did I know how true this
post would turn out to be. Tires and testicles...problems, oh yes indeed!!

Meet Pete's car, a '96 Nission SE. I never knew one car could aggrivate so many people and cause so much kaos in all my life.

So we all realize we've gotten a flat tire and pull into a Crown gas station to see if we can put air in the tire. Nope, not happening. We can't find a puncture anywhere but the air is coming out as quickly as its being put in. Joe buys a can of Fix A Flat from the gas station attendant. Maybe this will seal the leak. Nope!

Oh come on now. It's 2:30 in the freaking morning and all I want is to go to sleep. I didn't even drink enough (yes peeps, I've been a good girl lately) at the gig to be having a fun time with all this. All I can think of is the last time Joe and I broke down (that time with Sean) is when we walked a mile to a house (yes at 2:30am again) and took a cab home because my car was over heating and the battery was drained from trying to repeatedly start it. This is when my car got stolen! My car being stolen is why I am now sitting here thinking all this because we had to ride with Pete. And God how I was wishing at this point that my new car was on the road. And why is it always after a gig and at 2:30am? The things we think of... at 2:30am.... Okay a song just popped in my head, "it's the things that make you go hmmmm".

During this thought process of mine. Pete is on the phone with AAA getting a tow truck and Joe is on phone getting a cab to come. Finally as we are all gathered around Pete's car, tired, frustrated, and looking at the poor thing pitifully, this man comes up to us out of nowhere, asks us if we're broke down? Um, yeah! Flat tired dude. He then proceeds to ask us if we know where he can score some "coke". That's right, now a days you walk up to complete strangers and ask them if they know where you can go get some. Amazing. Joe and I sit on the curb watching as this guy goes from car to car to car on the highways intersection asking people this. Weirdo. But still the word "amazing" comes to mind in a very sarcastic way. This was one of those times when I really wish I'd had my camera.

So finally mine and Joe's cab comes and we head home. So much for actually making money tonight. Pete had to stay and wait for the tow truck. Pete will go in the morning and get a new tire put on.

So today Sunday, we were suppose to have yet another show from 4-8pm all the way across town about 45 minutes away. Pete calls at 11:30am, wakes this sleeping beauty up with the ringing of the phone, and says he is getting ready to go take care of business (the tire). Great! I'm feeling positive. I go back to sleeping and cuddling with Joe.

1:30pm Pete calls again, ah, he is now waiting for his nephew to pick him up so they can go get the new tire. Um, 2 hours have passed since he originally was suppose to be going.

2:30pm rolls around and his nephew has finally arrived. Hallelujah!! It's only been 3 hours and in an hour and half we need to be at the gig. We can do this. Right?

By 3 we were all fighting. Why didnt he take care of this earlier in the morning? He knew he had a gig? These are the questions Joe is asking him on the phone at this point. I am in the background freaking out. Being the person who books their shows, I am now stressed. This is a new club owner who I havent ever dealt with before. I am trying to make a good impression and guess what, this is not helping! Joe is yelling at me because I am yelling at Pete. Pete is yelling at me, I am yelling at Pete. We are all yelling at each other. Every one of us was being fired and/or quitting at some point.

Before you know it the club owner is beeping in on the other end.... "oh yes we are going to be there... (explain situation) ..we might just have to start at 5pm" She is flipping out. They have put up flyers all over town, she was counting on me, this is their grand opening, blah blah...

Now I have been yelled at by three people and damn it all I did was book the gig. My view point is none of this shit would have happened had darling Pete gotten up off his ass and went in the morning to have the tire fixed, repaired.. bought a new one. I honestly dont care... Just if he would have had a tire!

Finally I am on the second call to the club owner and she sends her boyfriend to come pick us up. Yes... you read right. Her boyfriend came and got us. Of course his is after again, Joe and I needing to take a cab to Pete's house.

I have never been so apologenic in all my life as I was to this club owner. Luckily they are both very cool people. It went from her telling me she had wanted to kill me at one point to her saying how sweet I was. THANK GOD! She loved MoJo and we are probably playing there next Sunday. Geese....

I am so happy this weekend is over!

Tomorrow is Labor Day. Joe is home. I just wanna snuggle up to him and forget the world exists....

Tires And Testicles

2005-09-02T17:55:00.000-04:00

I saw this online and had to share it with all my "girlfriends" out in cyberland...

So, so true...

Both make you pull your hair out and stare at them in udder disbelief, lol :-)

My Joe and MDA: Mission Accomplished?

2005-09-02T07:10:00.000-04:00

As some of you know, hubby Joe, has both an acoustic duo, Acoustic MoJo and a rock band, MDA. The acoustic duo is definately the more known of the two, I think primarily because it's easier to get 2 guys to agree on things related to the project then 4 guys. Too may personaily clashes etc. Fortunately for Joe and MDA as a band, his lead singer and best friend of 20+ years, Pete, is the front man for both acts. This has always made it easier to bring back MDA when it seemingly crashed. It's much easier to replace the other members than the frontman.

After the last clash of personalities, we were unsure of whether it was worth it to try once more. In the 5 years I have been associated with the band (which had just formed when I came into the picture but by another name), there have been many, many changes, mostly drummers and bassists. However, Joe doesnt know life without playing. He's been playing since he was 15 and he's now 38. Through all the ups and downs, I've always stood behind him during he roller coaster ride that is this rock and roll lifestyle. Joe will be the first person to tell you he has played more in the last few years since I started booking his band/duo than he ever played in his entire life. Even my kids, Brian and Michael, Joe's step kids have gotten involved. "Mom you should book Joe **here or there**". They come to shows when they can and have both taken an interest in different instruments. At present Brian wants a drum set. They tell their friends they have a "rock and roll" stepdad and I am now the "cool" mom.

Acoustic MoJo played close to 200 shows by itself last year and only formed in June 2004 while MDA played close to 100 shows. Joe was literally playing from Tuesday to Saturday, sometimes Sunday and sometimes doing 2 shows on Friday if MoJo were booked for a Happy Hour. He also worked his day job. And with this in mind, Joe has lived everywhere from New York to Hollywood and back again, living his rock and roll dream (or trying). He has done the original music band scene, waiting on the record deal, having one, but holding out for the better one... now years later it's easier to do the cover band scene.

So once again we have been one the hunt for both a new bass player and new drummer. MDA hasn't played a show in approximately 2 months now. Thankfully I was able to switch what MDA shows were booked to Acoustic MoJo shows. But... last night we had the first band practice for what hopefully will be the new MDA. I am not going to name names yet but I will say we found 2 very seasoned musicians and although there still needs to be some more practices, I think this might be a good line up. I hope so. MDA is scheduled to take the stage once more on Saturday, September 24th, at Remington's in Beltsville, MD.

Mission accomplished???

Hurricane Katrina

2005-09-02T05:48:00.000-04:00

I found this ribbon on Flickr. It is the ribbon being used to show our support for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. My mother lives in Mississippi and is feeling her wrath so his is very close to my heart. Here are some links from Wikipedia about Hurricane Katrina if you would like to follow it more closely. Feel free to download the ribbon and use it on your blogs.

A Joe Day

2005-08-29T00:19:00.000-04:00

Today Joe and I took the day and just hung out! First, we didnt even wake up until about 2pm. This is what a weekend of work and gigs and play do to you (well atleast
Joe). For me its what the stress of the entire week did to me. Hell my father went from being dead to ressurected all in the same week, lol :-) So we slept in...

Of course the first thing we want to do when we wake up is eat! We ended up at a new place for us called Glory Days. It's sort of a cross between Applebee's and Bennigan's. Lots of sports memorabilia on the walls. Initially we were headed to Marley Station Mall to go to the movies. We did end up at the movies, but what an ordeal that turned into. We purchase our tickets for The Cave at the ticket booth, we ask for the next showing, it's not 5:25pm, and the guy gives us tickets for the 4:30 show. This was $12.50. We didnt realize this until after spending another $12.50 on popcorn, soda, and Twizlers. The manager had to give us readmittance tickets, but the next showing wasn't until 7:30. So... we walked around the mall, bought some Godiva chocolate..yummy!! Joe bought two shirts... um, then the mall started closing at 6pm.

We go back to Glory Days for some drinks for the wait of an hour and a half! The movie was good once we finally saw it :-) I wont give it away here (watch the trailer at the above link).

After the movie we went to Crossroads Tavern. This place used to be our home away from home when both Joe's music acts plsyed there. Acoustic MoJo played there every Thursday and MDA was playing there once a month. Every Sunday our friends in Driven play there so we went to hang out for awhile.

Now we are homeand Joe is already in bed. Uh... the week is over - now to start it all over again!

I Feel So Different

2005-08-27T19:37:00.000-04:00

In retrospect now of the "death of my father". I am happy he is not dead. For the full story read below. Today iTunes was scrolling through my songs and stumbled itself upon this one by Sinead O'Connor. I dont hate my father... regardless of everything, I just dont understand him or the things he does or his reactions to things. He blames me for things he knows nothing about or should I say he only has one side. Whatever, he is gone now whether it is psychologically now or reality. I just cannot be put through anymore pain in regards to him.

Lyrics:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
I am not like I was before
I thought that nothing would change me
I was not listening anymore
Still you continued to affect me
I was not thinking anymore
Although I said I still was
I'd said "I don't want anymore"
Because of bad experience
But now I feel so different
I feel so different
I feel so different
I have not seen freedom before
And I did not expect to
Don't let me forget now I'm here
Help me to help you to behold you
I started off with many friends
And we spent a long time talking
I thought they meant every word they said
But like everyone else they were stalling
And now they seem so different
They seem so different
They seem so different
I should have hatred for you
But I do not have any
And I have always loved you
Oh you have taught me plenty
The whole time I'd never seen
All you had spread before me
The whole time I'd never seen
All I'd need was inside me
Now I feel so different
I feel so different
I feel so different
I feel so different
I feel so different

Mosaic

2005-08-27T09:39:00.000-04:00

Mosaic,
originally uploaded by hopenharmony.

I created this Mosaic today using the Flickr mosaic maker. It's pretty cool. You can make them various sizes. I just chose pictures of my family for this one.

Grief

2005-08-25T23:53:00.000-04:00

8/26 UPDATE - My sister emailed me today. Evidentally it was "spam" or some really sick joke that someone is playing. My family is so fucked up. My father apparently is not dead. I am relieved, I guess. But I sat here just looking at her email for like 10 minutes before I replied to her and I thought to myself, " Dad hasnt wanted anything to do with me in so long, really he has been dead to me." Not because I wanted it that way, but because he wanted that way. I guess I just got the greif process out of my system because someone wanted to be an asshole. I really dont understand people. I explained to my sister that I had emailed her asking about arrangement and never got a reply so i assumed it was true and I just wasnt suppose to know as per dad's wishes. All I know is I was just put through 3 days of pure hell. It's a very horrible feeling knowing the type of relationship my father and I had as a child. the type of relationship we have had the last couple of years and the thought there would never be an reconsile. No closure.

I am going to leave the original post below. Only because they were my raw emotions. My love came through as many of you have emailed me and expressed. I am still sorry things couldn't be different. He wont allow it.

I hope whoever sent me that nasty email got what they wanted. As upset as I am I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone. I would nver want anyone to go through the feeling I had of thinking my father was dead and I had never been able to say goodbye. You are a sick sick person.

The comments box will now be open.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ORIGINAL POST~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At around 4pm Thursday afternoon I recieved an email telling me my father had passed away. Yes, a very inpersonal email, not a call. Considering the state of my family situation, I guess I can understand this, or atleast be willing to try and understand it. My regular readers know the feelings my father and I have had for each other for the last couple years so I will not go into that. Let's just say that my children and I were disowned for choosing the life I have. For choosing Joe (or so thats my understanding). I was told a couple months ago by my mother (who is no longer maried to my father - he is since remarried) that it was my father's wishes that when he passed away for me not be allowed to attend the services and funeral. My friends believe I should go, that I need closure. Yeah I do but unfortunately I will never get that. The closure I needed was for my father to accept me, the good, the bad, just me, love me for me. That would not have meant he needed to agree with or understand my decisions but I am 32 years old. My sister once told me in an email, that I still have saved, that she believed my step mother did what she could to keep that gap between us and I believe that too. If I find out where the services are the only thing I would probably achieve is hysteria, possibly letting go and finally telling my step mother what I truley think of her (and thats putting it nicely), and dealing with the whispers of the rest of the family... "What's she doing here"....? I was once "Daddy's Little Girl", and now I am reduced to nothing. It hurts so much. But I know I tried... I have resentment and anger built up from those attempts of trying and being rejected harshly. Was I not worthy of love? Were my children not worthy of love? Joe used to say we had each other and the boys and thats all we really needed. I guess now its really true. My father always took care of us I can say that. We never did without. I used to feel love. I'll miss being able to say I have a father. I'll miss my daddy and pinky. I guess I will say my goodbyes now although I guess really they were said long ago even while you were here. Goodbye Dad. I love you and always will.

I am not going to accept comments on this. Anyone wanting to comment can email me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comments are now open.

A Quizzy Thingy Bob

2005-08-24T03:22:00.000-04:00

The rules:

1. This has to start with someone, anyone, answering the following questions.
2. Your answers must relate to ME!
3. You MUST leave your answers in my comments section below (just click on comments below and type your answers).
4. After you have done so I will reply to your answers, answering the same questions, but in regards to you. It's fun!!

The five people I would like to reply to this are: Lucas, Lewie, Andy, Jenn (my sister), Barb... but I'd like all my friends to eventually do this.

Here are the questions:
Please be sure to number your answers so they correspond correctly.

1. Post a random thought you have about me.
2. What movie/song reminds you of me?
3. What flavor jello would you want to wrestle in?
4. Post a statement that only you and I would understand.
5. What is your first memory of me.
6. What animal do I remind you of?
7. Ask me something you've always wanted to know about me.

Custom Magazine Covers

2005-08-24T00:37:00.000-04:00

I found a website for making custom magazine covers and had some fun! This is really cool. So here are mine. I can't decide which one I like the best!

If any of you decide to make one or two or three yourself, please leave your link in the "comments" section so we can all see.

7 Deadly Sins

2005-08-23T18:48:00.000-04:00

What sins are you guilty of most????

PRIDE

What it is: Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

Why you do it: Well-meaning elementary school teachers told you to "believe in yourself."

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be broken on the wheel.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Pride is linked with the horse and the color violet.

ENVY

What it is: Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.

Why you do it: Because other people are so much luckier, smarter, more attractive, and better than you.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be put in freezing water.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Envy is linked with the dog and the color green.

GLUTTONY

What it is: Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

Why you do it: Because you were weaned improperly as an infant.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be force-fed rats, toads, and snakes.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Gluttony is linked with the pig and the color orange.

LUST

What it is: Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.

Why you do it: Oh, please.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be smothered in fire and brimstone. Not kisses.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Lust is linked with the cow and the color blue.

ANGER (WRATH)

What it is: Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.

Why you do it: You're wired for it. Also, the people around you are pretty damn irritating.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be dismembered alive.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Anger is linked with the bear and the color red.

GREED

What it is: Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.

Why you do it: You live in possibly the most pampered, consumerist society since the Roman Empire.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be boiled alive in oil. Bear in mind that it's the finest, most luxurious boiling oil that money can buy, but it's still boiling.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Greed is linked with the frog and the color yellow.

SLOTH

What it is: Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.

Why you do it: You're shiftless, lazy, and good fer nuthin'.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be thrown into snake pits.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Sloth is linked with the goat and the color light blue.

I Have NOW Officially Seen It ALL

2005-08-23T02:47:00.000-04:00

I originally saw a post about this on the Occasional Bitches blog. My mouth dropped!! The photo pictures here is a Vagina Painting, yes people you read correctly... V-A-G-I-N-A Painting!! This gal apparently paints her vagina multi colored, spreds her legs, has some touching sessions with a canvas, and wahla you have a one of a kind painting!! Now gee, why didn't I think of that?? Because I have class!!! This woman even has a how to photo album with pictures on Yahoo. These painting go for a measley $75 a painting, oh and I forgot to mention you can get the matching boob paintings if you'd like also!! I dont know it seems to me only a man (sorry if this is sexist) would purchase this and he'd have to be pretty hard up. For $75 you could get the real thing!!! And no I am not condoning that practice either, just making a statement of fact!

I hope you all here my sarcasm in this post. She was recently suspended from Ebay but if interested you can purchase them via her website.

Anal - ism

2005-08-22T17:01:00.000-04:00

Maybe this is a bit cut throat... I will not name names but I need to voice myself, my anger, my frustrations! I've come to realize that I am so sick of these self centered, hypocritical, analistic, people that I have recently surrounded myself with. You know the type of person that needs to analyze every little thing but at the same time dont get all the facts to make a clear analysis. The people who think their shit doesnt stink! The know it all's or moreso the people who think they know it all. The type that needs to wash their car the minute a bird shits on it, after all if they dont the world might come to a freakin hault! Anyhow, I'm done!! I vented. I feel better!

Love Is "What I Got"

2005-08-22T13:24:00.000-04:00

So some other tidbits happened this week. Things I havent gotten around to blogging about yet so here goes:

My original Flickr account got canned because I posted apicture I found on the 'net. Weird considering alot of people post pictures off the 'net, just things they've found. Evidentally I violated Flickr's Term Of Service. Ok whatever. I was pissed to say the least. Alot of my Flickr buddies were emailing me to see where I was and were outraged by what had happened. I tried to open a new account only to find with the free account you are limited in the amount of space you have. This doesnt work for me because I take pictures daily! While conversing back and forth with a good friend off Flickr regarding these issues he suprised me and upgraded my account for me. He did this because he missed seeing my photographs, my work. I appreciate that. I'm not sure he would want to be "outed" so I wont say who he is, but he knows I appreciate this gift alot. Thank you again.

I've found this weekend that I have many good friends. Friends that I've never even met face to face yet still there is a bond of sorts, a growing frinendship and respect. It's a great feeling.

I've learned through the Lucas argument below that sometimes the people you truely think are your friends arent! Through this incident though, the people he mentioned in his Ouline have stood beside me. We've been called liars because he "thought" something, although he never bothered to ask questions to find any truth. If he had he would have been corrected nad feelings might have been spared. I got hurt by him and I guess once again, someone I've trusted has let me down (most do). It hurts most because it was uncalled for and he was wrong and wont acknowledge it.

But again, this weekend I've learned what great friends I DO have. The ones who missed me in a couple day absence. The ones who appreciate my work. The ones who accept me for who I am, wholely...not in part. All the good and the bad parts of me.

This song came to mind while typing this because even though all the bullshit happened i feel good knowing I have people who support and believe in me.

What I Got - Sublime

Early in the mornin’
Risin’ to the street
Light me up that cigarette
And I strap shoes on my feet
Got to find a reason
Reason things went wrong.
Got to find the reason why my money’s all gone.

I got a dalmation
And I can still get high.
I can play the guitar like a mother fucking riot.

Life is too short so love the one you got
Cause you might get run over or you might get shot.
Never had to battle with no bulletproof vest.
Never start no static I just get it off my (chest).
Take a small example, a tip from me...
Take all of your money and give it up to charity.
Lovin’s what I got, it’s within my reach
(and the sublime style is still straight from long beach)
It all comes back to you you’re going to get what you deserve.
Try and test that, you’re bound to get served.
Love’s what I got, don’t start a riot,
You feel it when the dance gets hot.

Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.
Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.

Why I don’t cry when my dog runs away.
I don’t get angry at the bills I have to pay.
I don’t get angry when my mom smokes pot,
Hits that bottle and goes right to the rock.
Fuckin and fighting, it’s all the same.
To live with louie dog’s the only way to stay sane.
Let the lovin’, let the lovin’ come back to me.

Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.
Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.
Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.

What A Wonderful Child I Have!

2005-08-22T05:38:00.000-04:00

I have blogged before about those times in your life as a parent that you look forward to. Those rare times. Those moments that make all the hard parts of parenting worth it. Michael gave me one of those times agiain today.

I don't remember what we were initially talking about but he got asked what he was thankful for. He said "for you". I asked, "why?" He said he was thankful that I was still here and wasnt sick anymore. For those of you who dont know, I had cancer a couple years ago.

I immediately got teary eyed. What a wonderful, wonderful child I have.

Funny...

2005-08-22T04:46:00.000-04:00

You know, first you believe in someone and then you find out how truley fake they really are! Tonight Lucas goes from applauding how I manage the things in my life, calling me a butterfly while he is a catepillar to trying to tell me what a piece of shit I am!

Let me tell you about my weekend with Lucas. He was moody all weekend, from the time he arrived. Got drunk on the Clipper Ship boat at Joe's gig, passed out as a matter of fact. I even had to drive his precious car home. Friday morning he comes into my room while I am stilla sleep and hooks his computer up... Hello??? His computer wires run through my house to the living room for days. His computer sits on my living room table for days. Bitches he was an errand boy - no I had things to do, and would have done them with or without him! Apparently he feels I need him to do things. I've gotten along just fine prior! He leaves tonight weirdly.... I message him asking whats wrong and never really get a straight answer. Just the butterfly/catepillar thing...

Tonight he emails me this (apparently his outline of gripes). My replies are underneathe:
* Bitching about my food.
Lucas is a vegetarian. He claims I bitched about his food. Well hello? Everytime I eat something I hear how it was killed! Yet he has only been Mr. Veggie Man for 5 months! Hey Lucas, you had blood and meat in your system less then half a year ago. You have no room to talk. I just complained that when you fried the ToFu it smelled.

* Bitching about my movie.
He bought Sin City. It sucked! Or atleast in Joe and my opinion. Michael wasnt even interested. I dont remember anyone bitching really, just saying they were disappointed. And I believe that was Joe. I knew in the first 5 minutes it wasnt a movie I'd like and kept getting up and leaving the room.

* Nagging me to be there by 5:30 on Thursday
The boat was leaving at 8 or so I was told. I didnt nag you - but I did need to know for sure because if you werent going to be here I needed to figure out what I was doing. I think anyone would agree with me there.

* Bitching about your flickr account.
It got canned for a stupid reason and I was pissed. I opened a new account and was upset by how little I could upload.

* Leaving Sean to baby-sit the cats. Originally saying Michael wanted to stay home and didn't want to go on the boat. Everyone that night wanted to go on the boat. You are way off here baby... Michael did want to go, then didnt because he was excited about the kittens. It was just as we were leaving he changed his mind. If your gonna call that a bitch. Get your facts straight! Sean told me in the kitchen he wanted to stay in case Cassie had a hard time.

* Leaving Michael at the house while we went to Great American Sports Bar or whatever because of your hang up over some dumb chick that wont stop emailing you or Joe about Joe.Um again...no. Michael was fine. He wanted to play his new game and watch his movies. He is old enough to be alone for 2 hours. And I didnt get that email from the "dumb chick" until right before we left. We already knew prior we were going. And even if I was upset by the "bitch" who cares? Thats really NONE of your business.

* Essentially ignoring Michael all day today
I slept today because I was sick. And where do you get off being parent of the year, you have no children. Michael knows he is my world in fact you yourself "today" heard him say he was thankful for me. I also had stayed up most of the night with him watching his fresh Prince of Bel Air box set while you slept 3 feet away.

* Taking Cassie's babies from her every few hours.
We are all excited about them. You went in there too. Infact that was one of the things you were doing while "hooking up your computer".

I guess my friendship is over with Lucas. Its a shame after 20 years. But I can not forgive him for his accusations where Michael is concerned. Gee he also stated how he got jealous seeing me and Joe... maybe this all stems from that. Whatever! Grow up! This shows real low class on your part.

He later goes on to say he has been taking notes and someone is lying: Me, Joe, my bestfriend Sean, or Michael. We have no reason to lie. To you? Personally I think your a paranoid person. Your very anal about alot of things. You put your money in one order, you check your car. Lucas you have turned everyone off by your actions. Joe thinks you come in and take over. He cant even relax on his couch when your here. Your wires are everywhere. You even tried to yell at my son about a Taco Bell cup that was in the road. Who the hell do you think you are? You did get upidy with Joe coming in our door like he was a child and almost got knocked out. He was talking and you rudely and harshly turned and said "Joe" like you were repremanding him. I had to beg him not to throw you out that night do you know that? Luckily he gets over things easily and by morning/afternoon and several talks with me, was fine. Sean says you act as if your better than everyone else. Pete pretty much says the same thing. And Michael thinks your in love with his mother. Maybe so...? Again class... trying to fondle my foot in front of my kid!

I have taken you into my home. Taken you out to the places I go and introduced you to people and my friends... If you didnt like it, no one made you come! Don't bother comig back. I tried to give you some excitement which you said you never had.

he ended his gripe email by saying he supposed my response (all which are above) would decide whether or not I showed merit. Lucas I have a life snd friends, all you have is work and bike rides, I have plenty merit. I think your jealous of what you cant have! And I think your petty for bringing a child into it. I certainly do not need you to validate who I am or what kind of parent I am. Anyone who knows me knows the bond and special relationship Michael and I have. It's not even questionable.

What Does My Dream Mean?

2005-08-22T03:43:00.000-04:00

I have been a bit razzled for the last couple of days. I haven't told anyone about the dream I had the other night that has me thinking about it constantly because truthfully it has me bewildered and I can't make any sense of it. Maybe I am finally losing my mind. I guess you, my internet audience will be the first to help me analyze this bizzare dream of mine.

I dont really remember much of the dreams beginning. I know Joe was there. And I know we are in a housing area with row homes. It's a place we are not familiar with and we go out to explore it. We reach a beachy place. To me it seems like where I spent summers as a child, Nantucket Island, only on Nantucket island there are no row homes. It's like the dream has taken on something new. Now it is very beachy with sand for miles,coves and water, an ocean that stretches as far as the eyes can see. Crystal clear water, the type you can see the fish swimming around in. Beautiful, full of vivid colors everywhere. I have my camera with me and am taking photos of the scenery. Theres a tree that hangs over a bank and I look and see Joe has climbed up into the tree. I take a picture and head off to him. I climb the tree.

I look and then see an almost hidden part of the beach. I climb down from the tree and I start walking towards this hidden area of beach. This is where it gets freaky. My mother then appears driving towards me on the beach in my old Jeep Cherokee. I get in the car and together we head to the area. She has a stranger (or atleast no one I know) in the Jeep with her, they tell me not to go to that part of the beach. I tell them I want to just take a few photo's. I never question why they are telling me not to go there. Everything turns to black and white as I enter this area but in the dream I dont seem to notice it. It's just one of those things your self concionce picks up on. I see this beautiful view as I step out of the Jeep. One of those views where tree's frame it. Its still black and white. There are birds flying over the ocean then suddenly they are coming towards me. Not flying towards me, its like they are being forced to me. I am snapping pictures the whole time, my mother is screaming for us to go, and the stranger is saying this is an evil place. A bird then hits my shoulder, its dead. Then I notice they are all dead. The birds in the air are dead too. At this point I get into the Jeep and we go to the "color" area.... Then I woke up.

This dream has me freaked out. So now I went online to Dream Moods, a dream dictionary. I picked out some key words, beach, camera, birds, mother, stranger, husband, car, black and white, evil... This is what I found out.

Beach (looking towards the ocean not away)

To see the beach in your dream, symbolizes the meeting between your two states of mind. The sand is symbolic of the rational and mental processes while the water signifies the irrational, unsteady, and emotional aspects of yourself. It is a place of transition between the physical/material and the spiritual.

To dream that you are on the beach and looking out toward the ocean, indicates unknown and major changes that are occurring in your life. Consider the state of the ocean, whether it is calm, pleasant, forbidding, etc.

Camera

To see a camera in your dream, signifies your desires to cling on and/or live in the past. Alternatively, it may represent you need to focus on a particular situation. Perhaps you need to get a clearer picture or idea.

Birds (particularly dead ones)

To dream of dead or dying birds, foretells a period of coming disappointments. You will find yourself worrying over problems that are constantly on your mind.

Mother

To dream that you are having a conversation with your mother, denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life. It indicates unresolved problems that still need to be worked out with your mother.

Stranger

To see a stranger in your dream, signifies a part of yourself that is repressed and hidden. Alternatively, it symbolizes the archetypal dream helper who is trying to offer some insight and advice.

Husband

To see your husband in your dream, signifies your relationship with your husband and the unconscious feelings you have towards him.

Car

Whether you are driving the car or a passenger, is indicative of of your active role or passive role in your life. If you are in the backseat of the car, then it indicates that you are putting yourself down and are allowing others to take over. This may be a result of low self-esteem or low self-confidence. Overall, this dream symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life.

Black and White

To dream in black and white, suggests that you need to be more objective in formulating your decisions. You may be a little too unyielding in your thought process and thus need to find some sort of balance between two opposing views. Consider the views and opinions of others. Alternatively, black and white dreams is a sign of depression or sadness. You may feel that there is not enough excitement in your life.

Evil

To dream that someone or something is evil, denotes a repressed and/or forbidden aspect of yourself. This part of yourself may be seeking recognition and acknowledgment. Alternatively, evil may also be a reflection of your strong, negative emotions like hate, anger, etc.

E-Gads, I have lost it!!! It's official!

And He's At It Again...

2005-08-21T14:14:00.000-04:00

Just to let you know, Joe has blogged again. This time its about his newest toy, a B.C. Rich Gunslinger guitar, and the modifications he made to it today. Take a look and leave him some comments!

And Now We Are Three..., um 4...5

2005-08-19T13:13:00.000-04:00

Well Michael said Cassie couldn't have her babies on his birthday (August 17th - it was his day) so she decided to have them August 18th!!! Cassie is now the proud mommy to 2 beautiful kittens. The first was born at 5:35pm yesterday. All grey with a patch of white under its neck. The second came at approximately 9:50pm (4 hours later). This one looks like a little cow. All white and black but soooo precious!! Cassie is being a wonderful mommy and I couldn't be the prouder grandmommy!!!

UPDATE: Since this post I have good and bad news. Last night, the 19th, somewhere before midnight, Cassie gave birth to a new kitten. I wasn't home. I had to run out for work and Michael my son was home and called me on my cell phone to tell me the news. He said he went in to check on the babies and found an extra one! This one was all black. He said the first reaction (words out of his mouth) was "Holy Shit". Yes he is 12, but atleast he was honest!

About 30 minutes later he called back to tell me "paw" was hanging out of Cassie. I rushed home (was only 5 minutes away), and she has delivered another, but this one didn't make it. It was born stillborn. I found Michael hysterical, he had never witnessed anything like that and had been laying next to her at the time to soothe her a bit. I explained to him that this was her first litter of kittens and that alot of times there is one born dead in the first litter (found this information via the internet and heard it from a friend). I told him he has been great and I'm sure she appreciated him being there trying to help her. That we had 3 beautiful babies and Momma Cass and were lucky we hadn't lost her. Although it wasn't good this explanation helped him to feel somewhat better.

No sooner had this conversation taken place, another arrived, kitten #5. This one too is all black. I got Michael out of the room, afraid this one would be deceased too, but it was fine. We named the kittens: Kitten #1 (all grey with a patch of white on its neck) - Gracie, Kitten #2 (black and white cow like) - Moo Moo, Kitten #3 (all black) - Holy (because of Michael's first reaction), Kitten #4 - none (stillborn), Kitten #5 (all black) - Hope (we were "hoping" it was healthy).

Cassie had her babies on August 18th, 19th, and 20th. Everyone I have spoken to has said they've never heard of this happening this way before...now they have :-) Mommy and her babies are doing very well... I will post new pictures soon.

Michael's Birthday is HERE

2005-08-17T09:22:00.000-04:00

Well today my baby turns 12 years old. He has finally made it to the pre teen status!!! He isn't here yet, he was at his father's last night. Daddy bought him a new cell phone (I had bought him just a standard candybar style phone for Christmas). He got a flip phone with the walkie talkie and camera in it. Um, ok... Guess this goes along with the pre teen status thing. Now his phone is better than mine! I just have a flip phone, no extra's, lol :-)

I on the other hand took him out and bought him his remote control Porche he wanted from Discovery Planet and took him to Port Discovery (see earlier post), a place he had been wanting to go for some time and we celebrated early at Hard Rock Cafe (see earlier post). This was all last week, early. I do have presents for him waiting here. I bought him his Dukes Of Hazzard Box Set he wanted, The pilot (first ever show) of the Dukes Of Hazzard, and the video game of the Dukes Of Hazzard. He loves the Dukes Of Hazzard if you can't tell. Buying this stuff was such an issue. I also bought him some little things and put them in a gift bag, snappers (those little things you throw on the groud and they pop), candy, handcuffs... just little things I saw here and there.

Tonight Joe will bring him home his birthday cake and tomorrow we are going on the Clipper Ship. Cool....

I am anxiously awaiting my baby... um pre teen. I will be posting some pictures to go with this entry later, when I get them.

His birthday cake is being brought home by Joe so there will be more later!

By Invitation Only

2005-08-16T22:44:00.000-04:00

Tonight Joe, Pete and I went to a party being held at The Lodge Bar in Baltimore's Power Plant Live district. The pary was being held by the beer Sam Adams and was all you can eat and drink. Most of the industries known were there. When I say this I mean people in the bar industry and local music industry.

Crushing Day was the band chosen to perform for the night. They were okay but truthfully I have seen them do better. I don't think it was the band as much as the people running the sound.

Of course most of

what Joe and Pete did was drink, eat and of

course talk

about future of MDA. We'll see what happens with that...

Of course I think the highlight for Joe and I was the fact that George Wendt was there. Most of you will remember him as "Norm" on the long running TV sitcom Cheers. Being from Boston he is a spokesman for the Boston based and brewed beer Sam Adams. we met him and took the above picture.

All in all it was pretty cool night and atleast it wasn't hot and humid. It's rained all day and it cooled things off drastically here in Baltimore.

Big Hair

2005-08-16T17:30:00.000-04:00

I forgot to tell everyone, Friday I cut my hair. Not the length just the top, I can now curl it again. Big hair here we come again!!! You know what they say, it all repeats in time. This will be my second time now with big hair.

Dear Diary

2005-08-16T15:48:00.000-04:00

Lyrics that fit today:

Dear Joan - Tabitha's Secret (aka Matchbox Twenty)

Dear Joan
I've almost forgotten
The pane in the window
Blue dress in the doorway

Dear Joan
Help me remember
The face I forget
And the traps that I've sprung

I guess I've grown tired
It's just what's expected of me
To tear your heart
From the inside to the outside
You know I was wired
I just couldn't help it
The hundred thousand times I hurt you

Dear Joan I wanted to say
I'm sorry for the screaming last night,
And the nights before
I've wanted more from this
Than anything I've ever known
Dear Joan

Dear Joan
Your face has a brightness
That I've never seen
In the years that I've known you

Dear Joan
I'd pick up the pieces
But some scattered too far
See, they flew when I kicked them

I know you believed
When I said it was over
You stood by me patiently
Waiting and brooding
So deeply in love
With every face that I've shown

Dear Joan I wanted to say
I'm sorry for the screaming last night,
And the nights before
I've wanted more from this
Than anything I've ever known

Once I forget
Twice I'm a fool
Three times I wrap
My hands around your neck
While your sleeping
So quietly sleeping
Sleeping and dreaming

Dear Joan
Don't walk out the doorway
Because if you did, I believe
I could honestly kill you

Dear Joan I wanted to say
I'm sorry for the screaming last night,
And the nights before
I've wanted more from this
Than anything I've ever known

Dear Joan I wanted to say
I'm sorry for the screaming last night,
And the nights before
I've wanted more from this
Than anything I've ever known
Dear Joan

Things I Learned / Heard Today

2005-08-15T21:02:00.000-04:00

I learned something new today. Joe was watching a documentary on the History channel about the Chrysler Building. A very, very beautiful building I might add. I'm not sure what exactly happened at some point to the building (because I was in and out of the room) but the person talking said that if there is an explosion in a high rise building it is expected that there will be atleast one casuality per floor above the 15th floor. I just thought to myself "hmmm, thats interesting, I've never heard that before". So that is what was learned.

As some of you know, my favorite show on HBO, Sex Feet Under is coming to an end sadly this week. For any of you wanted to do the wish list thing, all the seasons are on my wish list. In a preview, the mother of the show is heard saying "motherhood is so lonely". I had to think about that statement and I think I understand it. My analysis is this for example: When you get married, presumably it is forever, until you die. You are with your spouse for the remainder of your life (unless your the widow). But with your children, they move on, start lives of their own. Still they are yours, always, but you lose them nonetheless. It made me wonder how I will feel. I get lonely now when they aren't here, around me, because they are at their father's. What will I do when its for longer periods of time when they are adults? i guess I will still have Joe, but nothing takes the place of your babies!

Blingo

2005-08-15T18:15:00.000-04:00

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A Few Drinks Anyone?

2005-08-15T15:39:00.000-04:00

Isn't it amazing what a few drinks will make people talk about?

Last night, Lucas, Sean, Joe and I are sitting around watching music video's and drinking Orange Vodka and Red Bull (an Orange Crush). I mentioned something about Lewie's blog about Leprechan's and how his wife and her sister claim to have caught one as a child. Everyone just kinda looked at me confused...

Yes we all know Leprechan's aren't real. Except for maybe Lewies wife and sister (or Except for maybe my 6th grade Social Studies teacher. He has the brightest red hair...) lol :-) Anyhow, someone I think Sean said that if you catch one they are suppose to grant you 3 wishes.

The drinking babble begins:

"So what 3 wishes would you ask for?"

Lucas:
#1 Lifetime personal assistant to do anything he wishes, including sexual.
#2 One hundredkazillion dollars
#3 Pilots license

Sean:
#1 Pay bills
#2 To be an all time sports star in either hockey or soccer
...somehow we never made it to 3...

Joe:
#1 One hundred kazillion dollars
#2 A Howard Dumble Amp
#3 To own his own island

Me: (mines tricky because being married to Joe and him already asking for money I cant because I'd already have it)
#1 Since having money from Joe's wish, I'd like to invest in something that is certain to make more money
#2 My children's financial security for life
#3 I'd send Joe to Luthier school

"What's your dream job?"

Lucas: Designing video games
Sean: To be a bigger soccer player than Paylay, whoever that is..
Joe: Famous musician
Stacy: Teacher, like I started but never finished, but not of children, of adults with children with disorders. It's teaching them how to cope/deal, and what resources there are.

FUCK WALMART

2005-08-15T14:50:00.000-04:00

Let me first start by saying I LOVE WALMART. I do most of my shopping there infact but I was very upset Saturday afternoon and by the time I was done with my rant (which most of the time gets it out of my system and I can move on), I was more upset! But what could I do? Let's begin:

Michael's birthday is Wednesday. I go to Walmart looking for 2 things, The Dukes Of Hazzard video game that came out last year, and the First Season of The Dukes Of Hazzard Box Set. Well, they don't have the game. okay, I'm fine with that. After calling all over town, I came to realize it might be an adventure trying to find it. It seems to be a rariety. What they do have is the boxed set!! YUPPIE! I come to find out the adventure would be getting help to retrieve this set from the glass case it is in.

My case (issues):

#1 My bestfriend, Sean works at Walmart. He is back in electronics with me so I can get the set and get his discount. He goes up to the cashier and explains I need assistance. The cashier says as soon as he is done ringing up his current customer he will be right with us. OKAY!!! I am still okay at this point.

#2 10 minutes later, still no cahier to help me. I walk up to the checkout and the department manager is there (different person). I ask her for assistance. She, with a very rude tone, tells me to get in line. Um, like okay, BITCH! You do not need to be rude. At this point I am slightly simmering, not boiling yet, but simmering...

#3 I wait in line 5 minutes and then the cahier (the original one) leaves just as I make it to the checkout. A new cahier is now there, I tell her what I need (this is now the 3rd person). She stands there and does nothing... like hello???????

#4 Finally yet another person, this now makes the 4th person, asks me what I need. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ALREADY! He gets it for me. HALLELUJAH! MISSION CONTROL WE HAVE LIFT OFF! Finally someone to do their job!

#5 Again I need to wait in line, but I am happy again, sort of... the whole time I am saying before I leave I am speaking to a STORE manager. Lucas pays with his credit card.

#6 As we are walking towards customer service so I can see the STORE manager Lucas shows me the reciept. I about died right there it was so funny but at the same time infuriating. As his signature Lucas wrote "FUCK WALMART" and no one questioned it. Can I say HELLO again? Does this mean I can find a credit card on the street and go ona shopping spree and get away with it because no one will look at the signature or ask for ID?

#7 We make it to customer service. Why do they call it customer service? Do they really help you? The call the manager. After another 10 minutes he arrives. NOW I UNDERSTAND.

#8 I descretely, after all its not his fault he has horrible employee's (right???), show him the reciept. I explain that it took me 20-25 minutes and 4 employees to get a freeking DVD and that my time is as valuable as anyones and that maybe he should look at who works for him very closely. After all the employees are who we as customers deal with, they make the impression. I ask him to read the signature. He puts on his glasses and looks at me. I shrug. I explained no one ever questioned the signature. He tells me they are not required to check signatures....

WALMART IS JUST GREAT! PEOPLE WATCH YOUR CREDIT CARDS! THE END!

OH PS: I did find the game. Lucas and I decided to go to Quizno's for lunch. Right beside it was EB games. Lucas found the game for a Playstation 1, it was a different Dukes Of Hazzard game, I held onto it, but asked if they has the new Playstation 2 game, THEY DID!!! Happy again...

Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849)

2005-08-15T14:26:00.000-04:00

"For over 150 years, legions of scholars, literary people, journalists and general Poe devotees have tried to capture Poe's complex personality and enshrine it forever in paper and ink. They have exhaustively chased every conceivable source to fill in the details of his life. Every person who met Poe (or was willing to claim so), and was still alive after 1875, was coerced to recall any scrap of fact or insight, no matter how trivial or vague. After these people had passed on, their children and even grandchildren were asked to repeat anything they had heard about Poe. From this mass of disjointed and often contradictory information, Poe's biography has been crafted, each generation relying heavily on the work of prior biographers, themselves often happy to steal from their competitors without so much as a footnote. Every letter he wrote, every note he jotted on a piece of paper, every photograph, every newspaper or magazine article, every building, stick of wood or piece of bric-a-brac with a Poe association was duly collected, catalogued and interpreted -- but Poe himself has fooled us all and remains to this day an elusive quarry." ~ Taken from Poe's Problemic Biography

So Saturday Lucas and I decided to go visit the Edgar Allen Poe House and Museum. This is the house he was born in located in Baltimore, MD. Most of you probably know Edgar Allen Poe from his book, The Raven. Edgar Allan Poe was born in Boston, Massachusetts, to parents who were itinerant actors. His father David Poe Jr. died probably in 1810. Elizabeth Hopkins Poe died in 1811, leaving three children. Edgar was taken into the home of a Richmond merchant John Allan. The remaining children were cared for by others. Poe's brother William died young and sister Rosalie become later insane. At the age of five Poe could recite passages of English poetry. Later one of his teachers in Richmond said: "While the other boys wrote mere mechanical verses, Poe wrote genuine poetry; the boy was a born poet."

The house was very, very small. Two sets of winding staircases which were very steep. No large person would ever be able to fit up the steps. The caretaker, Mr. Jerome, and I started speaking because when my grandfather passed away in January I was given a drawing of Edgar Allen Poe which always hung in my grandfathers "spot", the basement. It had been there for as long as I can remember. My grandfather, when I was young would tell me about Edgar Allen Poe. I think my grandfather would like the fact I visited the house. I don't think when you are young you can appreciate "works of art" as you do when you are older.

The photo seen here is of that painting. Mr. Jerome wanted me to email him a copy of it so he could validate that it was indeed Edgar Allen Poe. Apparently many people have come across paintings that were supposedly Mr. Poe but weren't in reality. I am waiting on a reply now. Before leaving I purchased a copy of Mr. Poe's poem, Annabelle Lee, one of my favorites.

When we left the museum Lucas and I headed over to the grave of Edgar Allen Poe. Unfortunately the cemetary itself was closed for construction so we couldn't go in but because his grave is at the front, right inside the gates, we did get this photo. This is the second grave for Mr. Poe. The first being inside the cemetary further towards the back, He was moved some years ago to the front. There has always been speculation that he is not really buried there but who knows really.

More phot's can be seen on my Flickr photo album.

Musician Birthdays

2005-08-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

Being married to a musician and having music be a very major part of my life, I thought it might be neat to see when some "famous" birthdays are. Keep in mind, my favorite type of music is classic rock and some modern rock but I did not go with just that genre. Let's see if any birthdays match yours...please comment if they do.

JANUARY
5th - Marilyn Manson (1969)
8th - Elvis Presley (1935)
8th - David Bowie (1947)
9th - Jimmy Page (1945)
9th - Crystal Gayle (1951)
9th - Dave Matthews (1967)
10th - Rod Stewart (1945)
10th - Pat Benatar (1953)
11th - Mary J. Blige (1971)
14th - L.L. Cool J. (1968)
19th - Janis Joplin (1943)
20th - Paul Stanley (1952)
22nd - Steve Perry (1949)
22nd - Michael Hutchence (1960)
26th - Eddie Van Halen (1957)
28th - Sarah McLachlan (1968)
30th - Phil Collins (1951)
31st - Justin Timberlake (1981)

FEBRUARY
4th - Alice Cooper (1948)
6th - Axl Rose (1962)
7th - Garth Brooks (1962)
11th - Sheryl Crow (1962)
18th - Dennis DeYoung (1947)
18th - Dr. Dre (1965)
20th - Kurt Cobain (1967)
23rd - Howard Jones (1955)
26th - Michael Bolton (1954)

MARCH
1st - Roger Daltrey (1944)
2nd - Jon Bon Jovi (1962)
7th - Taylor Dayne (1962)
11th - Lisa Loeb (1968)
15th - Bret Michaels (1963)
16th - Nancy Wilson (1954)
17th - Billy Corgan (1967)
23rd - Ric Ocasek (1944)
25th - Elton John (1947)
26th - Steven Tyler (1948)
27th - Mariah Carey (1970)
30th - M.C. Hammer (1962)
30th - Celine Dion (1968)

APRIL
2nd - Marvin Gaye (1939)
3rd - Sebastian Bach (1968)
10th - Babyface (1959)
10th - Mandy Moore (1984)
23rd - Barbra Streisand (1942)
27th - "Ace" Frehley (1950)
27th - Sheena Easton (1959)

MAY
9th - Billy Joel (1949)
10th - Sid Vicious (1957)
10th - Bono (1961)
13th - Peter Gabriel (1950)
16th - Janet Jackson (1966)
17th - Trent Reznor (1965)
20th - Cher (1946)
23rd - Jewel (1974)
24th - Bob Dylan (1941)
25th - Lauryn Hill (1975)
26th - Stevie Nicks (1948)
26th - Lenny Kravitz (1964)
28th - Kylie Minogue (1968)
29th - Melissa Etheridge (1961)
31st - John Bonham (1947)

JUNE
1st - Alanis Morissette (1974)
6th - Kenny G (1956)
7th - Prince (1958)
8th - Bonnie Tyler (1953)
14th - Boy George (1961)
18th - Paul McCartney (1942)
19th - Ann Wilson (1950)
19th - Paula Abdul (1963)
20th - Cyndi Lauper (1953)
25th - George Michael (1963)
30th - Yngwie Malmsteen (1963)

JULY
1st - Deborah Harry (1945)
3rd - Laura Branigan (1957)
9th - Courtney Love (1965)
10th - Ronnie James Dio (1949)
11th - Richie Sambora (1955)
20th - Kim Carnes (1946)
20th - Carlos Santana (1947)
22nd - Don Henley (1947)
26th - Mick Jagger (1943)
29th - Geddy Lee (1953)

AUGUST
1st - Jerry Garcia (1943)
3rd - James Hetfield (1963)
9th - Whitney Houston (1963)
14th - David Crosby (1941)
16th - Madonna (1958)
17th - Belinda Carlisle (1958)
22nd - Tori Amos (1963)
25th - Gene Simmons (1949)
25th - Elvis Costello (1954)
29th - Michael Jackson (1958)
31st - Debbie Gibson (1970)

SEPTEMBER
1st - Gloria Estefan (1957)
5th - Freddie Mercury (1946)
7th - Gloria Gaynor (1949)
7th - Chrissie Hynde (1951)
8th - Pink (1979)
16th - Richard Marx (1963)
22nd - David Coverdale (1951)
22nd - Joan Jett (1960)
23rd - Lita Ford (1959)
26th - Olivia Newton-John (1948)
27th - Meat Loaf (1947)

OCTOBER
2nd - Sting (1951)
3rd - Stevie Ray Vaughan (1954)
3rd - Tommy Lee (1962)
5th - Bob Geldof (1954)
7th - John Cougar Mellencamp (1951)
7th - Toni Braxton (1968)
9th - John Lennon (1940)
10th - David Lee Roth (1955)
13th - Art Garfunkel (1942)
13th - Sammy Hagar (1947)
16th - Flea (1962)
17th - Eminem (1974)
20th - Tom Petty (1953)
22nd - Shaggy (1968)
26th - Natalie Merchant (1963)
27th - Simon Le Bon (1958)

NOVEMBER
2nd - Nelly (1978)
3rd - Adam Ant (1954)
5th - Bryan Adams (1959)
8th - Bonnie Raitt (1949)
8th - Leif Garrett (1968)
21st - Bjork (1965)
25th - Amy Grant (1960)
26th - Tina Turner (1939)
27th - Jimi Hendrix (1942)
30th - Billy Idol (1955)

DECEMBER
2nd - Britney Spears (1981)
3rd - Ozzy Osbourne (1948)
8th - Gregg Allman (1947)
8th - Jim Morrison (1943)
12th - Sheila E. (1957)
12th - Sinead O'Connor (1966)
13th - Ted Nugent (1948)
18th - Christina Aguilera (1980)
21st - Frank Zappa (1940)
23rd - Eddie Vedder (1964)
25th - Jimmy Buffett (1946)
26th - Lars Ulrich (1963)
29th - Marianne Faithfull (1946)
30th - John Denver (1943)
30th - Davy Jones (1945)
31st - Donna Summer (1948)

Sean's New Apartment

2005-08-11T23:58:00.000-04:00

Well he did it! Sean finally got away from living with his mother and moved into his own apartment! I am so proud of him. The apartment is fully furnished and includes utilities (wish mine did). Now if only his mother could get the other birdies to fly free (Sean's younger brother, sister and her 2 kids also live with their mother). His apartment is right down the street (about 20 houses) from mine. Ladies he is accepting numbers...

Eating Good For You

2005-08-11T00:15:00.000-04:00

Joe has decided we need to eat better. Um, ok. This means no more chips, pizza, candy, or soda. This definately means no ordering food. Um, again, ok. Really I can do this. I am not much for chips or candy although I love Peanut M&M's. I have to have my Coke though. Pizza I can either have or not have, doesnt kill me either way. So last night I made herb roasted chicken with a veggie meledy of snow pea's, squash, and carrots. The colors were pretty, lol :-). Tonight I made chicken fried rice with chicken and some left over squash and carrots which I steamed. Joe has been doing good. He has even been drinking diet soda. YUCK! He says he feels better. My question is why do I have to suffer so he can lose weight, lol :-) If Lucas had his way we would be vegetarian's so I guess I'll be grateful to just lose the candy and chips!!!

Fear Of God

2005-08-11T00:09:00.000-04:00

I was surfing the web tonight as always and stumbled across a band I hadn't thought about in some time, Fear Of God. Their music was very um, deathly... don't exactly know how to describe it really. Sort of Goth, Metal, Courtney Love-ish with an evil twist. All their material is out of print long ago. I was just hoping maybe someone out in internet land might have a copy to make me. One can only hope. The lead singer Dawn Crosby was from Baltimore, I knew her briefly back in the very early '90's. She is now gone, passed away. I've known that. Anyhow if anyone stumbles across a cd, let me know. The last copy I had was bought at Record and Tape Traders here in baltimore about 4 years ago. That was lucky find then.

Needy This Morning

2005-08-10T08:45:00.000-04:00

Have any of you ever woken up one day and just felt depressed and didn't really know why? Have you ever just felt the need to talk and talk and talk and not really know about what? Maybe just about everything that bothers you at that moment or the things that have been bothering you over time? Today is one of those days for me. It's early in the day for me yet, just 8:49am, I've tried to go back to sleep and can't. Thoughts just keep intruding...

So I figured I would do what I do best...talk...even if only here, my daily journal of ramblings. If any of my friends choose to comment, great, any advice on my little breakdown here will be appreciated.

I guess the first thing that entered my mind this morning was my grandparents. There isn't a day that goes by that I dont think about them. I am feeling guilty because this past Saturday, Joe was playing within walking distance of where my grandmother is now in a nursing home. I was suppose to go see her then but was feeling so out of it that I didn't even go with Joe. I just stayed home. My car isn't completely ready to go on the road yet so I just can't go anytime and the fact that she is across town makes it difficult to even go on public transportation.

I swore when I walked out of my grandmothers house for the last time that I was done. So much had happened. I justw anted to leave that part of my life behind and move on. I felt alot of emotions, betrayed, used, hurt... I said I wuld never have anything to do with that side of my family again, aside from my mother and my sister.

I tried, I tried to do everything I could in those horrible last months. No one really knows what I was going through emotionally at the time. The last 4 or 5 months I am lucky I even survived myself, muchless trying to help and care for the elderly grandparents I then had. My life is a very hectic, busy one, ask anyone in it. I am always on the go, always having to take care of this or that, always dealing with the latest band crisis. Of course I have been told the band crisis' I could have put aside, afterall that is what Joe does, why do I? Well, simple answer really. He's my husband #1, and #2 I also make my money through doing what I do with/for the band. It feeds us, takes care of Michael, etc... this is my income. At the time my Wednesdays through Saturdays and even sometimes Sundays were kaotic. Not much sleep when you are up early and not home until sometimes 4am. But really I have adapted to that lifestyle. But with everything going on around me, the "lifestyle",a nd the other trauma's happening. It was too much. Everything was happening so fast.

Let us recount: In October 2004 I found out I was pregnant, almost 3 months, in 3 weeks time I had seen my sonogram, heard my babies heartbeat, was buying baby clothes and maternity clothes (that explained putting on weight). Any woman out there will tell you once you have seen your baby on that screen and heard it's heartbeat, your life chnages, it's then realer than real. That came crashing to a hault on October 21 when I had a miscarriage. It was only 2 days prior that we had had the sonogram, etc, and everything was okay... The next night, the 22nd, what we refer to as the "Joe incident" occured. I wont go into the details of that too much as it was one of the worst times of my life and the day after losing the baby and I honestly dont want to relive it in my mind muchless words. We'll just say Joe was in jail for 3 days until I got him out, I was struggling with my emotions. The incident involved me and I was very unsure where my marriage was going if I had one even. All this within 24 hours. I was left severely damaged and had to face my friends and family and make them understand whatever decisions I made. Most of which to this day think I am crazy for allowing my marriage to continue. What I knew that they didn't was the other side of Joe. Fast forward for a second to April 2005, Joe looking at 10 years for the above incident gets off largely due to my testimony and is in counceling. Life is better with him. Much better.

In the months to follow grandmom who had been in the hospital returns home. I am still coping with the above and to add to this, keeping in mind I am still living the band lifestyle too, I am dealt with the lifestyle of granmom needs to change. She now can only eat certain foods and needs her blood taken everyday. Grandpop couldnt seem to take her blood so I had to. This became quite frustrating. Grandmom was starting to suffer from dimensia. She could still eat certain yummy foods but in moderation. She would forget she had already eaten what was allowed, I would take her blood and it would be sky rocketing. Of course she would swear she hadn't done anything. It seemed for awhile all she would eat were the yummy things, not dinner, lunch or breakfast. All the while complaining that I was starving her. I would cook, everyone else would eat but her. I couldn't force her. She was going through a stage where I assume she realized she lost something, she was no longer able to cook for the family due to her health, the above plus the fact she was half blind, could barely walk or hear, and was immensly forgetful, sometimes leaving the gas on.

One day I came home to the entire house smelling of gas. She had cooked something and forgot yet again to turn off the gas. I had to open every door and window I could. I was lucky she was alive. It got to the point of being afraid to go out. Then when I would have to go out she would complain when I got home. She was lonely, she had no one to talk to.... the truth is she would drive everyone crazy. All she did was complain, mostly about me. I was doing what I could but I needed my time too and I definately needed my income, what little it was. According to everyone else I should give all that up. I felt bad because she needed help, but I needed to be able to take care of my child. Where were they? Her own children only came by when there was a major catastrophy and most of them only lived within 2 miles or so of her. They would come by because she would call that she was lonely or I was starvng her or that I hadnt taken her blood (she would forget but the number readings would be in her book). They would come screaming at me. If I spoke to someone else in the room about anything she would swear I was talking about her (she couldn't hear well) and call my aunt to complain about that. She had by this point needed a potty chair which was in the dining room, she would swear everyone in the house was using it because she would forget she had. And oh yes, I was responsible for that clean up too. She would misplace her wallet, accuse everyone of taking it, and a week later I'd find it in the freezer. Yes the freezer. I was now suppose to be the complete caregiver of everyone in the household.

My poor grandfather was my only console. Most of the time he would hybernate in the basement watching television or listening to music, reading.... that is when he wasn't on the go himself. He could barely walk himself but he would leave and be gone for hours. Grandmom drove him nuts. She would send him to the store and he would return with maybe the wong type of Coke. Regular instead of Cherry for example and she would cry, literally... I saw that man be faced with going out in the snow for her, he himself hardly able to drive or walk. Grandpop seemed to be the only one who understood because he was there all day too. Sometimes when Joe would come home from work she would start her rants and Joe would get on me. He wasnt there to see how she was all the time. Of course there came a time later towards the end when he was out of work briefly when he saw. I would sometimes just go to the basement to breathe. My grandfather would sit in one cahir and me in the other and he would hold my hand and just shake his head. He knew I was trying. He knew I was still dealing with so many of my own issues and now I had this too. In my entire 32 years of life I have never been so verbally abused as I was by my grandmother. She caused most of my family to think I was some kind of cold herated heathen.

January 14, 2005 My grandfather fell at about 2am in his bedroom. What we had come to find out was my grandfather with his health problems, he had a heart condition and a few years prior had had triple bi pass surgery, and was slowly deteriorating had decided to take up drinking again. We had learned this months before but what could we do? He would sit in the basement and drink himself stupid. I guess this was his way of dealing... Gin and tonic. He fell because he was trying to get undressed and get into bed and well, couldn't. Between not walking well and being drunk, he just couldn't. He fell and knocked himself out. It took me about 5-10 minutes to get him to come to all the while trying to convince grandmom to stay on her side of the bed so she wouldn't see all the blood gushing from his head and also trying to convince her he was okay even though Joe and I werent quite convinced of that ourselves. I remember us running to the room and me seing him on the floor and just freezing in the hall, I thought he was dead. He had a huge gash on his head right by his eye. Once we got him to coem to, I tried talking to hima nd it was quite apparent he was drunk. I cleaned him up begging him to let us take him to the ER but he refused. Again what could I do?

January 15th Joe had a show that night. My uncle was suppose to come and make sure grandmom got to bed. Grandpop couldnt help her up the steps, he himself was too weak. My uncle never showed. The kids were always too busy with their lives. I ended up again putting my own life aside to make sure she was in bed before I left for the night. I had to get her upstairs, put the potty in her room etc... I would always call later to check in. I did. Something told me that night not to go. Earlier in the day I had my "parently" talk with grandpop and told him, begged him to stop drinking, I told him it scared me. I told him I thought he was dead when I saw him the night before. He said he would stop. Before leaving that night I went down to check on him,s ee if he needed anything, and to tell him grandmom was in bed. He had me sit next to him. He told me he was proud of me and that he loved me. He asked me for kiss. I started up the steps and he called back to me "I love you baby", I told him I loved him and would see him tomorrow. He nodded. My gut told me something wasn't right. My grandfather didnt talk like this. He didnt express his feelings.

At 2:20am Joe and I got home. I went straight up the steps because I had to go to the bathroom while Joe was still bringing in his equipment. My grandmother asked me to go tell grandpop to come to bed, he was still in the basement. I yelled for Joe to do it. The next thing I know Joe is in the bathroom with me telling me my grandfather is dead. Joe had found him in the basement, in his chair where I'd left him. He's had an anurizm. Joe told grandmom before I'd even completely comprehended what he had just told me. I was then left with calling everyone.

Slowly, one by one, all 5 of their children showed up. My mother not until the next day because she was in Mississippi. My cousins.... not one ever asking how Joe or I were. My father showed up (yes the father who I have no relationship with). he later took my sister and I out for awhile. I thought this might be the beginning of a new relationship between he and I since I was invited out, I was wrong. I guess maybe in the events taking place he felt obligated. Please do me no favors like that, it only messes with my already screwed up head.

The next couple months were hard. Grandmom got mean beyond words. She at one point said I was to blame for grandpop dying. I should have been there she said. Even if I had, what could I have done? It was bad... she complained about everything and of course I was made out to be the she devil herself. We started looking to move and did in April. The kids decided to put grandmom in a nursing home a month prior in March. Why not? They'd never really come to see her before. Why think they'd care for her now?

I was so hurt by the months I endured trying to deal with my own internal issues and trying to help as best I could with my grandparents, never getting any thanks only screamed at and blamed for everything. My father coming and going in and out of my life again in a day after I'd tried for months to get him to talk to me. I swore I'd never speak to any of that part of my family again once I moved. But life goes on and as time goes by we learn to forgive. Obviously we never forget but forgivness can happen with an open heart. I have been to see grandmom 2 times since moving in April.

I just miss them. The only family I have now is my mother 1200 miles away, grandmom who is in a nursing home, my sister and father whom hardly speak to me or dont at all, Joe and my kids...of all of them only Joe and my kids are who I really have. I dont know why I am breaking down today, I dreamt of them last night, maybe thats it.

Have You Ever...?

2005-08-09T19:06:00.000-04:00

Have you ever loved someone so much you could hardly breathe when you are around them? Loved them so much that when they are not around them you miss them terribly because you want to spend every minute and every hour of every day with them?

Henning Books

2005-08-09T02:19:00.000-04:00

I stumbled across this websie tonight and joined it. It's a place to publish your articles, essays, poetry, stories, and more, for free! People can then read your writing and rate it. I am now waiting on them to approve and post 4 of my poems. Of course the poetry can also be found on my poetry blog, but maybe I'll get more of an audience this way.

You go to the Henning books website, look for Members Work, scross down to my screen name "stacyarrington", and my poetry will appear by title.

BTW, for those interested I did just post a new poem on my poetry blog.

Home Sweet Home

2005-08-09T00:43:00.000-04:00

Lewie had posted something about Google Earth a few weeks ago but I just got around to trying it out for myself. I found not only my street but my actual house! Michael and I sat here looking up my grandparent's house and his father's house too. It's really cool. Click on the picture to see the enlarged version.

Love On The Nanjemoy River

2005-08-08T23:51:00.000-04:00

I meant to add this to my blog earlier to keep the posts in order but it didn't happen that way.

Sometimes the simplest of things make you feel absolutely beautiful...

This is my foot and Joe's hand. I was sitting on the peir and he was in the water in a raft and he reached up and took hold of my foot, lovingly. He said "holding my pinky toe was trust but holding my foot was love"... I never "wanted" him to let go.... I never "want" him to ever let go.

I've melted yet again and he doesn't even know it!

Ass Map

2005-08-08T21:51:00.000-04:00

I found this online and had to share it with all of you. This just had me laughing which today I needed.

"No wonder the Middle East is in deep shit"...lol

Welcome To Nanjemoy

2005-08-08T00:35:00.000-04:00

After driving over an hour and a half with Lucas, Joe and Michael, all I can say is WOW Nanjemoy is incredible!! I guess what I really mean is my new friends, Joe's old friends are incredible. Some background: Joe has known Kenny and Ginny for about 15 years, give or take but hasn't seen them in about that long either. Today that changed. What a wonderful experience to have shared with Joe.

Kenny rescued Joe's old Mesa Boogie Amp from being lost in pawn years ago and has had it all these years. He gave it back to Joe today. What great generousity! Kenny is truely a great one!

What a day. When we first got there we realized it because of a sign that said "Joe and Stacy" (above). I thought that was so cool! Kenny and Ginny's home is a real life treehouse. Absolutely to die for gorgeous!!

We all went into their screen house and munched and talked and then decided to go down to the creek, the Nanjemoy River runs right behind the house. Needless to say, the fun began. Michael and Lucas were the only ones to actually bring a bathing suit, so Joe just took off his shirt and went in!! What's a girl to do??? I got in, in a skirt!!!! We sat around catching up/getting to know each other and just enjoying the day.

I learned that Najemoy means "the haunting of ....", I forgot! (Lucas and Kenny both just emailed me and said it is "the haunt of the raccoon", Kenny went on to say also that "the Piscataway Indian supposedly came up wtih this to mean a camp near the bank of the Manjmy - Creek . . in old texts..") Anyhow....

I met some great people today. People I hope will remain in touch with Joe and I and continue a friendship that atleast with Joe, has with stood both time and distance. For me, I hope to build a lasting friendship....

Thank you Kenny and Ginny for a wonderful day, for openin your home up to us, and for making my husband so happy. Also, thank you Lucas for driving us to Nanjemoy!

Meeting New / Old Friends

2005-08-07T02:13:00.000-04:00

I am looking forward to Sunday!! Lucas, Joe, Michael and I are driving to Nanjemoy, MD to see an some old friends of Joe's, Kenny and Ginny. The drive from my house is estimated at 1 hour and 48 minutes! Joe knew them 10-15 years ago and hasn't seen them since. A few months ago Kenny loooked Joe up on Google and emailed us. We have been corresponding ever since. Kenny has an old guitar amp head, a Mesa, that was Joe's back in the day and Kenny is giving it to Joe as a gift. It'll be nice for Joe to have a piece of the beginnings of his music career again. Things like that sometime become sentimental. Kenny seems to be a very cool guy and I am looking forward to meeting him. I plan on taking a ton of pictures so be looing for them!

An Early Birthday Celebration

2005-08-05T13:04:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Michael
Originally uploaded by stacyarrington.

Michael will be 12 years old on August 17th. As an early birthday celebration we went to Port Discovery yesterday at Baltimores Inner Harbor. Last night Joe was playing with Acoustic MoJo so we continued the celebration and have them give Michael a "Hard Rock Birthday" - birthday. He wasn't expecting this at all. They made him stand on a bar stool while the bar sang Happy Birthday to him and they gave him a birthday sundae. They also gave him a collectors Hard Rock Cafe birthday pin. He had alot of fun yesterday. He was talking about his day, all day. This is what you get when you have a hard rock mother and step father!!!